Saying No

Today, I stood up and told my teacher no. I know this probably comes across as shocking, but I promise I was not being insubordinate in any way. It was a lesson in knowing what my voice can handle and what is too much. I know Lynn's psychology...either she wanted to teach me how to say no or the task of standing in on short notice. Either way, she would win, and she knew it...

Lynn asked me about learning the masterwork to be performed in three weeks, and yesterday, I looked at it. It would be no easy feat (especially the beast of a work that was chosen), but I allowed myself the rehearsals of the day to see what I thought. It was a true measure of just how far my musicianship has come and the direction it is going as well as how much my voice has grown and the more control I have over it. Last night, I proved to myself that I can do it when the time comes that I need to do so. However, I also knew that it wasn't necessary to do so now (for one, there is no paycheck to come out of this), and pushing my voice was not worth the risk. And I was not okay with putting my other music aside probably entirely for the rest of the semester; it means far too much to me. Being the wonderful support that Lynn is, she honored and completely backed my decision. (Afterall, she still won regardless!)


Gratitude 89
I am ever so enormously thankful for the friend/mentor I have in Lynn. She is one of the strongest people I know yet is always there for me when I need her...regardless of how silly the "problem" is. Köszönöm szépen, drágám!

Believe it or not, the past week, I actually thought we weren't getting along, that I had done something that made her angry or disappointed with me. I was terribly upset by this. So much so that I had trouble sleeping Sunday night. So yesterday I sent her an email and then went and chatted with her. It was, of course, all made up in my head; she was never irritated with me. I had upset myself over something completely nonexistent. Life's been pretty stressful around here, and she has been under a lot of pressure. (And there is drama galore swirling around this place! ugh!) She said she might have snapped but never meant anything towards me and was sorry I had misinterpreted it. I told her semmi baj. Nothing troubled. I was just worried because there had never been any disdain between us. Ever. And I didn't like it. I have no idea how I will ever strike gold again on teachers as I have with Lynn. She is an angel from God. Köszönöm szépen, Isten! ;)

Well, I should be writing my paper for song literature and perhaps starting my one for yoga. (Because I certainly am not going to do anything over break!) Concerto competition auditions this evening! Eek! I'm singing my Delibes piece. We'll see if it is liked enough this time around to win me a place on the concert next semester. Crossing my fingers! Audition tonight at 7, and then I should know within the coming days...hopefully before break. One more day!!!! I can't wait to get away for a few days. We all need it desperately.

P.S. On my way to my science class (oh, gen. eds!) this morning, it was freaking snowing! Seriously, God? Whatchya doin' up there? Stop playing with the clouds...it isn't funny anymore. The ironic thing: I was supposed to be learning about global warming in science. How ridiculous!