Well, life handed me yet another wonderful cake to put icing on this afternoon. I don't care much to elaborate, but I'm ready for that holiday (that'll never exist) now!
Gratitude 125
Despite my anger and irritation today, my spirits were lifted this evening when some of the girls from SAI and I sang at the assisted living home a few blocks from the university. It just made me so happy to see them so happy that we were sharing our music with them, and it brought me down to the remembrance of the reasons why I sing.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Thoughts while I should be sleeping...
I know I ought to be sleeping, but I just wanted to post a little note, which I will probably add to tomorrow...or make into actual organized thought instead of random babble. (If I haven't already said this, I am pretty sure I am a partial insomniac or something...apparently, my body thought it'd be a good idea to "go off sleep" or something because falling alseep just doesn't like to happen. Thanks, body, I sincerely appreciate it. Not!)
Today was a frustrating day...and I thought it started out brilliantly...then I had my lesson, and first off, I just couldn't seem to warm up completely. My voice was just not where I wanted it to be. ugh! Then my lesson just strengthened how much of a terrible musician I feel like. I am so irritated with myself and don't know how I am going to learn all the music I need to or perform Phyllis or return to Hungary. I'm certain I am being too hard on myself...that Wonder Woman thing again...but in my last year of undergraduate and still having the stupid downfalls I have = a whole lot of crap. I sincerely don't know what my deal is.
Honestly, I would love a holiday from life for a few days. I have become, in the words of my mother, "such an independent, self-sufficient young lady." But sometimes, I get so tired of constantly having to be so responsible and take care of "all growed up" things every day. It's exhausting...and never seems to end...
This evening was the masterclass with Shuler Hensley. I enjoyed it. (Although, I didn't care much for the students who performed from the university at which it was held. Personal opinion, I suppose.) Shuler is so nice and completely down-to-earth...and a beastly bass! He's a mighty big man...6 foot 3! He is currently performing "The Monster" in the national tour of Young Frankenstein, which we will be attending on Wednesday. He was so crazy and animated and insisted it was not a masterclass but rather a "lab" where he experimented with exercises. His big ideas formulated around using opposites in your intention to create something more real. It was pretty cool. Those couple hours certainly lightened my spirits which were tired, grumpy, and irritated with life.
On the drive there, we were fascinated by the awesome autumn colors. Yellow is everywhere this year! So bright and pretty. :) I love it! Sadly, I forgot my camera. :( Oh, well.
We also discussed Saturday's masterclass with Ken Griffiths on the drive there. Listening to the criticisms of his criticisms and approach to his work, I wonder if maybe I have toughened my skin more than I think (which still must be miniscule since I cry over stupid little things often enough!). He was quite intense and demanding but all with well meaning. However, many of my colleagues did not like how he "tore them apart." I don't necessarily agree. Everything he said was all for the greater good and, in the end, yielded a lovely, more effective result. Nem tudom. My professors in Hungary had a very similar approach, so I knew what to expect, so I knew somewhat of how I'd react to his approach. I knew that any critics were only to make it possible to build it up stronger. Maybe that is why. Just makes me think. (Nonetheless, my acceptance of this approach does not always lessen the tears that may escape afterwards. It is all about balancing critic and positivity.)
Gratitude 124
At least after an irritating day, I put Mozart into my headset and sat on my balcony doing my German homework. An escape away from life for a few moments as I gazed upon the golden leaves illuminated by the sun's glow. :)
Today was a frustrating day...and I thought it started out brilliantly...then I had my lesson, and first off, I just couldn't seem to warm up completely. My voice was just not where I wanted it to be. ugh! Then my lesson just strengthened how much of a terrible musician I feel like. I am so irritated with myself and don't know how I am going to learn all the music I need to or perform Phyllis or return to Hungary. I'm certain I am being too hard on myself...that Wonder Woman thing again...but in my last year of undergraduate and still having the stupid downfalls I have = a whole lot of crap. I sincerely don't know what my deal is.
Honestly, I would love a holiday from life for a few days. I have become, in the words of my mother, "such an independent, self-sufficient young lady." But sometimes, I get so tired of constantly having to be so responsible and take care of "all growed up" things every day. It's exhausting...and never seems to end...
This evening was the masterclass with Shuler Hensley. I enjoyed it. (Although, I didn't care much for the students who performed from the university at which it was held. Personal opinion, I suppose.) Shuler is so nice and completely down-to-earth...and a beastly bass! He's a mighty big man...6 foot 3! He is currently performing "The Monster" in the national tour of Young Frankenstein, which we will be attending on Wednesday. He was so crazy and animated and insisted it was not a masterclass but rather a "lab" where he experimented with exercises. His big ideas formulated around using opposites in your intention to create something more real. It was pretty cool. Those couple hours certainly lightened my spirits which were tired, grumpy, and irritated with life.
On the drive there, we were fascinated by the awesome autumn colors. Yellow is everywhere this year! So bright and pretty. :) I love it! Sadly, I forgot my camera. :( Oh, well.
We also discussed Saturday's masterclass with Ken Griffiths on the drive there. Listening to the criticisms of his criticisms and approach to his work, I wonder if maybe I have toughened my skin more than I think (which still must be miniscule since I cry over stupid little things often enough!). He was quite intense and demanding but all with well meaning. However, many of my colleagues did not like how he "tore them apart." I don't necessarily agree. Everything he said was all for the greater good and, in the end, yielded a lovely, more effective result. Nem tudom. My professors in Hungary had a very similar approach, so I knew what to expect, so I knew somewhat of how I'd react to his approach. I knew that any critics were only to make it possible to build it up stronger. Maybe that is why. Just makes me think. (Nonetheless, my acceptance of this approach does not always lessen the tears that may escape afterwards. It is all about balancing critic and positivity.)
Gratitude 124
At least after an irritating day, I put Mozart into my headset and sat on my balcony doing my German homework. An escape away from life for a few moments as I gazed upon the golden leaves illuminated by the sun's glow. :)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
A Thousand Lifetimes
Sometimes, I feel like there are times in life that seem to have been a century ago...or a century away...like I've lived a thousand different lifetimes. I suppose that sounds strange, but so many things feel like I only dreamed about them, that they weren't real. Europe, college, summer, even this past week...Monday feels like it was a month ago!
It was a very full week, that is for sure! I got my Iolanthe score! :) It's a lot of music, but it'll be awesome. Tuesday, Alexa (my roommate) and I, for some absurd reason, watched 18 Kids and Counting all evening. I'm sorry, but 18 kids...and another on the way!...is way too many! It's INSANE!! Wednesday night, we attended the dress rehearsal for I pagliacci downtown for opera/music theatre workshop. Thursday evening was Melody and Rachel's (two of our SAI sisters) junior recital. Brava, girls! It was beautiful! Then, Friday, Alexa and I just had a lazy evening at home...after a crazy adventure to Target, Kroger, and Chipotle. haha! I don't think I mentioned before, but the two of us are most definitely Laverne and Shirley. Our lives are pretty ridiculous, and whenever we do something together, it is always an interesting adventure. It's hysterical in the end, though! And I am sure it highly entertaining to onlookers. Anywho, we rented My Life in Ruins (HILARIOUS!!!) and The Proposal (ADORABLE!!...even though I've seen it 4 times now! haha!), ate yummy burritos, and I worked on the nuisance called the SAI Yearbook Directory that I have to complete.
Yesterday was the annual Vocal Symposium for the voice department of the conservatory. Actually, it began Friday morning at recital hour with a wonderful lecture on words and music (this year's theme...my favorite!) by Dina Lentsner (Russian professor that lives downstairs of my flat). It varies for year-to-year, but this year it was a day-long masterclass with the brilliant Ken Griffiths. His work is mainly in collaborative piano, so piano-voice ensemble is a big deal with him. :) And then there's the words and music...ah! This is why I want to go back to Europe. I love that stuff! I realized yesterday that not only do I want to sing opera, but I see myself specializing in art song as well. I just love it! I never thought much of it before, but it is such an incredible word of repertoire...and practically endless.
I sang "Waldesgespräch" from Schumann's Eichendorff Liederkreis cycle. Wonderful piece. First off, I have to say that I have grown a sort of attachment to the story behind the piece, the legend of the Lorelai, simply because I have seen the Lorelai rock on the Rhein in Germany. Even more, as I was working on it in my 20 minutes with Ken Griffiths, my energy was heightened as we discussed how the Lorelai must be portrayed because I remembered that the afternoon I was on that Rhein River cruise in 2005, I was persuaded into singing...as we passed the Lorelai rock! Sweet! This song took on a new meaning at that moment. :)
Ken Griffiths was intense and slightly intimidating, but he was absolutely brilliant! He reminded me quite a lot of János and Roland...hard-core and critical but all in well meaning. Twenty minutes was so short. Some people did not like his criticism, but I suppose brutal opinions are often difficult to accept...doesn't, however, necessarily make them any less true, though. He was a very animated man, too. haha! So ridiculous! Perhaps, being a short-statured Australian adds to his humor.
I spoke with him for a moment at the end of the day, thanking him. He had made a joke about Hungarians singing in German, and I told him I had studied in Hungary and what he said was pretty true. haha! :)
Now, it is Sunday, and it feels like Saturday. However, it isn't, and there are classes tomorrow. Mondays. ugh. I don't care for them much...I have a voice lesson, but it is just such a long day. Attending a masterclass an hour away with Shuler Hensley (not performing this time, just watching) tomorrow evening for opera/music theatre workshop. Tickets to Young Frankenstein downtown with the same class on Wednesday. Musicale with SAI on Tuesday evening at the assisted living home down the street. LOTS of practicing to do and catch up on! And that blasted yearbook directory due!
Gratitude 123
I love the beautiful colors I see from my flat and as I walk the paths of campus! :) It's very yellow this year. So cheery!
It was a very full week, that is for sure! I got my Iolanthe score! :) It's a lot of music, but it'll be awesome. Tuesday, Alexa (my roommate) and I, for some absurd reason, watched 18 Kids and Counting all evening. I'm sorry, but 18 kids...and another on the way!...is way too many! It's INSANE!! Wednesday night, we attended the dress rehearsal for I pagliacci downtown for opera/music theatre workshop. Thursday evening was Melody and Rachel's (two of our SAI sisters) junior recital. Brava, girls! It was beautiful! Then, Friday, Alexa and I just had a lazy evening at home...after a crazy adventure to Target, Kroger, and Chipotle. haha! I don't think I mentioned before, but the two of us are most definitely Laverne and Shirley. Our lives are pretty ridiculous, and whenever we do something together, it is always an interesting adventure. It's hysterical in the end, though! And I am sure it highly entertaining to onlookers. Anywho, we rented My Life in Ruins (HILARIOUS!!!) and The Proposal (ADORABLE!!...even though I've seen it 4 times now! haha!), ate yummy burritos, and I worked on the nuisance called the SAI Yearbook Directory that I have to complete.
Yesterday was the annual Vocal Symposium for the voice department of the conservatory. Actually, it began Friday morning at recital hour with a wonderful lecture on words and music (this year's theme...my favorite!) by Dina Lentsner (Russian professor that lives downstairs of my flat). It varies for year-to-year, but this year it was a day-long masterclass with the brilliant Ken Griffiths. His work is mainly in collaborative piano, so piano-voice ensemble is a big deal with him. :) And then there's the words and music...ah! This is why I want to go back to Europe. I love that stuff! I realized yesterday that not only do I want to sing opera, but I see myself specializing in art song as well. I just love it! I never thought much of it before, but it is such an incredible word of repertoire...and practically endless.
I sang "Waldesgespräch" from Schumann's Eichendorff Liederkreis cycle. Wonderful piece. First off, I have to say that I have grown a sort of attachment to the story behind the piece, the legend of the Lorelai, simply because I have seen the Lorelai rock on the Rhein in Germany. Even more, as I was working on it in my 20 minutes with Ken Griffiths, my energy was heightened as we discussed how the Lorelai must be portrayed because I remembered that the afternoon I was on that Rhein River cruise in 2005, I was persuaded into singing...as we passed the Lorelai rock! Sweet! This song took on a new meaning at that moment. :)
Ken Griffiths was intense and slightly intimidating, but he was absolutely brilliant! He reminded me quite a lot of János and Roland...hard-core and critical but all in well meaning. Twenty minutes was so short. Some people did not like his criticism, but I suppose brutal opinions are often difficult to accept...doesn't, however, necessarily make them any less true, though. He was a very animated man, too. haha! So ridiculous! Perhaps, being a short-statured Australian adds to his humor.
I spoke with him for a moment at the end of the day, thanking him. He had made a joke about Hungarians singing in German, and I told him I had studied in Hungary and what he said was pretty true. haha! :)
Now, it is Sunday, and it feels like Saturday. However, it isn't, and there are classes tomorrow. Mondays. ugh. I don't care for them much...I have a voice lesson, but it is just such a long day. Attending a masterclass an hour away with Shuler Hensley (not performing this time, just watching) tomorrow evening for opera/music theatre workshop. Tickets to Young Frankenstein downtown with the same class on Wednesday. Musicale with SAI on Tuesday evening at the assisted living home down the street. LOTS of practicing to do and catch up on! And that blasted yearbook directory due!
Gratitude 123
I love the beautiful colors I see from my flat and as I walk the paths of campus! :) It's very yellow this year. So cheery!
P.S. A few pictures have been added to the previous post! :)
Monday, October 19, 2009
Hello? Are you there?
I do still exist! I apologize for yet another long hiatus from my posts. Life has been...stressful and overwhelming...to say the least. BUT...
Gratitude 122
MY FULBRIGHT APPLICATION IS COMPLETE AND SUBMITTED!!! YAY!!!!
Early this afternoon, I handed over the entire packet to Dr. Carlson, my advisor, who has overnighted it to New York. This morning was a rollercoaster getting the final letter from the Kodály Institute to include in the packet. (Pretty sure, they are probably thinking they don't want to ever see me again after that fiasco!) After several emails, the hard copy getting lost in the mail, and a phone call...I received it this morning and then proceeded to lose the attachment, consequently, leaving me in a hot mess to make my way back to my apartment through blurred vision to see if I could retrieve it on my computer. I miraculously did!
Hallelujah! I have been going mad trying to get everything together, and a million tears and hair-pulling moments later, it is finished. (Now, praying for good to come of this all!) So...needless to say, I have been so pre-ocuppied with that, staying up to the wee hours of the morning because it was the only time I had to work on my essays and emails, I had to put things like this blog on hold. Sadly, though, I am kind of frustrated/upset with myself for neglecting a few other things along the way...like my practice schedule. :( Nem jó! I'm trying to remind myself that I am only human, though...regardless, all is still unexcusable in my world.
Still really stressed about school stuff, though...catching up on the things I set aside. It is mid-term, so exams all around. Ugh. I am so over crying but feel like it's going to happen again soon this week. This girl thing is a little ridiculous sometimes. Because it is mid-term, though, I had a three-day weekend at home hanging out with my nephew. He is hysterical! And A LOT of work...certainly not ready for my own children!!! He's the typical gets-into-everything-scales-the-safety-gates 1-year old. haha!
Gratitude 122
MY FULBRIGHT APPLICATION IS COMPLETE AND SUBMITTED!!! YAY!!!!
Early this afternoon, I handed over the entire packet to Dr. Carlson, my advisor, who has overnighted it to New York. This morning was a rollercoaster getting the final letter from the Kodály Institute to include in the packet. (Pretty sure, they are probably thinking they don't want to ever see me again after that fiasco!) After several emails, the hard copy getting lost in the mail, and a phone call...I received it this morning and then proceeded to lose the attachment, consequently, leaving me in a hot mess to make my way back to my apartment through blurred vision to see if I could retrieve it on my computer. I miraculously did!
Hallelujah! I have been going mad trying to get everything together, and a million tears and hair-pulling moments later, it is finished. (Now, praying for good to come of this all!) So...needless to say, I have been so pre-ocuppied with that, staying up to the wee hours of the morning because it was the only time I had to work on my essays and emails, I had to put things like this blog on hold. Sadly, though, I am kind of frustrated/upset with myself for neglecting a few other things along the way...like my practice schedule. :( Nem jó! I'm trying to remind myself that I am only human, though...regardless, all is still unexcusable in my world.
Still really stressed about school stuff, though...catching up on the things I set aside. It is mid-term, so exams all around. Ugh. I am so over crying but feel like it's going to happen again soon this week. This girl thing is a little ridiculous sometimes. Because it is mid-term, though, I had a three-day weekend at home hanging out with my nephew. He is hysterical! And A LOT of work...certainly not ready for my own children!!! He's the typical gets-into-everything-scales-the-safety-gates 1-year old. haha!
Oh! And the cast lists for this years shows, G&S's Iolanthe and Jason Howland's Little Women, were released last week. (I suppose I should have popped in for a quick post when they were pinned up because it is good news this year.) I have been cast as Phyllis in Iolanthe, the leading soprano. :) What a lovely name, Phyllis. haha! Not! ;) The major roles have been double-cast, however, but nonetheless, it is exciting. When I found out last week, I was just slightly distracted by my Fulbright stuff, so I didn't really get that excited about it...but now that that is complete, I am getting excited.
Voice lesson today was not the grandest, but I suppose those happen. I think that is partly why I am frustrated with myself. Plus, Lynn has not said anything to me about the opera, and I feel a little disheartened by that, like she isn't really supportive/proud of me and this role. I know she is stressed and slightly distracted (and I have given her nothing less that the stubborn soprano in me to deal with the past few weeks!), but I don't know. All of it is probably not true and made up in my head, but nem tudom...
*****
Last weekend was Homecoming at Cap. It was really awesome this year. I enjoyed it. Slightly sad I didn't go to the dance at the Bar of Modern Art downtown, but I had prior-made plans. A few pics to be inserted from that weekend, too, when my camera comes. The new $2.5 million fountains that were just installed are officially up and running on the plaza on campus. They look really sweet, but it is a little too cold to enjoy them much right now. (It snowed in PA while I was home this weekend!)
I also climbed a rock wall! hehe!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Gratitude 121
Although I will be doing homework pretty much the entire weekend, I am thankful for a more subdued weekend where I can sit all day in my pjs, put a movie on or a dvd (perhaps Gilligan...), and work on my endless pile of work. These weekends don't seem to come very often when you have a to-do list that goes to Bangok and back! haha! ;)
My Friday night has been spent watching the Disney Channel, working on my Fulbright stuff, and munching on candy corn (my favorite!!!). I am already starting to freak about the Fulbright. I have booked the recital hall (and accompanist Barb...I'm cheating on Chad again...with his full blessing, though...he doesn't want to play the selections I have chosen! haha! Lazy!) for Wednesday evening to record my songs for the CD that has to be submitted. And as I was working on the app, personal statement, and proposal this evening, I came across something that said in the vocal field of application, the CD holds the most importance...even over the proposal! Eek! Making my noivous! Talk about pressure! Well, I guess we shall just see what happens...
Oh! And I got to have lunch and chats with my Crystal today! She popped in for a visit. :) And...last night, was yoga, egg rolls, and girl chats with my Katie! Extra smiles! :)
P.S. I just found this first thing on Kim's blog and the second from Joyce...thanks! ;)
My Friday night has been spent watching the Disney Channel, working on my Fulbright stuff, and munching on candy corn (my favorite!!!). I am already starting to freak about the Fulbright. I have booked the recital hall (and accompanist Barb...I'm cheating on Chad again...with his full blessing, though...he doesn't want to play the selections I have chosen! haha! Lazy!) for Wednesday evening to record my songs for the CD that has to be submitted. And as I was working on the app, personal statement, and proposal this evening, I came across something that said in the vocal field of application, the CD holds the most importance...even over the proposal! Eek! Making my noivous! Talk about pressure! Well, I guess we shall just see what happens...
Oh! And I got to have lunch and chats with my Crystal today! She popped in for a visit. :) And...last night, was yoga, egg rolls, and girl chats with my Katie! Extra smiles! :)
P.S. I just found this first thing on Kim's blog and the second from Joyce...thanks! ;)
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