Girls Night!

I had such a great weekend! Saturday night, a few friends and I had a girls night, and it was fantastic. Lots of laughs and fun memories to add to our collection. I went over to my friends Courtney and Karly's room early to hang out and get a bit of homework done before hand. We turned on music (mainly '90s pop!) and had a little dance party. It was so much fun! Next year (well...after I get back from Hungary anyway), we are going to live together, along with our friend Abby, who was also at girls night. It is going to be amazing. Our apartment is going to be the place! Yay! I am going to miss them so much while I'm gone! I have to greatest friends ever! Anywho, that night was a blast...even though I didn't get to bed till 3:30am! Oh, well! It was worth it. Yesterday, we had initiation for SAI (the women's music fraternity I am in), so that took up pretty much all evening. Earlier in the day, though, I got a lot done and still went and hung out with Karly for a bit. I do not know how I did it, but I got SO much done this weekend AND still goofed off. :) If only every weekend was so productive and fun! Now, it is Monday...and a rainy one at that. Kind of gloomy outside, but that certainly isn't putting a damper on my mood. I am still super excited. I got a lot of things straightened out for Hungary this morning, too. I met with the study abroad lady and then popped into Dr. Mathias' office. She always makes me smile! and every time I see her, she rejuvinates my excitement for Hungary. In music theory class today, Dr. Ryan informed us that we only had two more singing audiation exams ever! We all got really excited...and then I realized no, that is not true at all. Not for me, anyway. Hungary is going to be constant singing exams, but that is alright. It was my decision, and I really need to go because of that. That's what I need to improve upon. Right now in theory, though, we are doing atonal serialism-type stuff. Not so much fun...or relevant to what I will be doing ever in my life, Hungary or otherwise. Nonetheless, we must learn it. Well, it is off to more school work and class for me. Only bummers right now: my camera I think has died :( and I cannot go to yoga next Thursday because I have a three-hour orientation meeting for study abroad. Oh, well. 'Tis life.

Sweet moments and smiles...

Last night I was totally lame and spent my Friday night practicing and doing work. It was good, though. Very peaceful...and productive. I have been in such a fantastic mood! I wrote my essay for a study abroad scholarship application, got my passport-size photos done (for a sort of Hungarian student ID card), and got everything in order for my meetings with the international education lady and Dr. Mathias on Monday. I got to cross so much off my to-do list! Then I went and practiced, too! Choir has really been making my voice really "heavy" and unfocused (more than usual anyway), so last night I spent an hour or so working through it and trying my best to reverse it. For the most part, I succeeded and was sounding great! :) This morning, I awoke at 9am and feeling great. Did a little yoga and then started my music theory homework while watching some mindless television (did that last night, too). I had a make-up voice lesson today...or was supposed to anyway. Got an email and a phone call at about 11am asking if I could come at noon instead of 2pm, so I got ready quickly and headed over. However, they had an audition day for prospective music students today. I got to the conservatory with about ten minutes to warm up and then waited in the hall for Lynn. Well, they were running behind, so the last singer to audition was in her studio preparing with the accompanist. (Lynn is the chair of the voice dept., so they always use her studio. I remember being in there with the accompanist when I auditioned...oh, memories!) When they left, I went in because the door was still unlocked and made myself at home at the grand piano. I sang for about a half hour, and she still wasn't there. Then I just started goofing off at the piano. I cannot play very well, but I can muddle through some stuff. I pulled out the Robert Saari pieces again and played a little. Ah!! So gorgeous! And hauntingly so! It was so...ah!...I really do not think a word exists in the English language for the feeling. It was just...right...felt so right. Lynn finally came in at about a quarter to 1pm while I was playing parts of Rain has Fallen. I had a grand time playing around in the studio, but it was so wonderful to see Lynn. She just kind of looked at me and kept smiling. It was the whole "I'm going to Europe!" thing again (which by the way will not be getting old anytime soon!). We both giggled with excitement. :) I only ended up singing maybe seven minutes or so, but we rescheduled for during the week, and she also had me come back at 3pm because we were trying to decide between a few pieces for the NATS competition on April 12th. Again, I only sang a maybe ten minutes, but it was nice. We, of course, smiled and giggled with excitement about Europe. She gave me a big hug and said how proud and excited she was. She told me that it would be different around here while I'm away, but I told her not to worry....I'll be leaving little notes all the time (maybe even hide notes around the conservatory before I leave...hehe!). It'll be like I never left! Muahaha! Then she had to get home and see Mama Roseberry (please keep her in your prayers!). It was such a bittersweet moment. I keep smiling everytime I think back. Lynn's the best! It has certainly been quite a Saturday! It's been good. Yesterday, Dr. Ryan, my theory professor, I think found out for the first time officially that I am going to Hungary because he asked me about it later in the afternoon. It's kind of funny how he found out. Every time my friend Rachel and I see each other, we go through the whole "I'm going to Europe" spiel, and she has class with him right after I do, so... Dr. Ryan actually got to go for a week in the fall to visit. (Every year, a faculty member is chosen to go see the program in Hungary. Pretty sweet.) He was surprised to find out I am the only one going, but then again, everyone is when they hear that. I am not sure Lynn realizes that I'm on my own yet either. It is kind of sad that not more are going, but oh, well...they're the ones missing out on the experience of a lifetime! It shall be fabulous! I will be seeing where it all began...where the music I love and study was created...Ah! :)

If I were a Care Bear...

I know I've said it a thousand times already, but I have to say it again. I am SOOO excited! I am going to Europe! I really just cannot stop smiling. I also had yoga today, which made me smile more. (However, I was so excited about Hungary that it took me awhile to achieve the "calm and relaxed" state.) Then, at dinner, I was sitting with some friends and discussing Europe and somehow also the crazy/absurd experiences we've had in life so far. Well, I was just so happy that I randomly blurted out, "If I were a Care Bear, I'd have a little sun on my belly...I'd be Funshine Bear!" I have no idea where it came from, but it definitely falls into the category of absurdities in my life. I probably shouldn't be admitting that I said it, but I am totally okay with being an absolute nerd. It's more fun that way. All the same, it was pretty much fabulous! Life is good. :)

(....even despite the fact that I just found out I have a stack of paperwork to complete for studying abroad and submit them by April 1st (that's Tuesday!)...and Dr. Mathias is out of town...and so is the lady in the international education office...no worries!)

And now the acceptance letter...

I got my acceptance letter in my mailbox today! YAY! This is so crazy! I cannot believe I am going to Europe...for four months...alone. (Yes, I am the only one going!) Exciting but scary all the same. I admit that I am completely freaked about flying over an ocean by myself. However, it is going to be so worth it! I pretty much wanted to sing it from the rooftop as I held the letter. This is really happening. Wow! But you know, it just feels so right. As corny as it sounds, the part at the end of The Princess Diaries 2 when Mia is announced queen, she takes this uplifting breath and exhales in this way that you know it feels right. Those moments are incredible...and this is one of them for me. I, of course, popped my head into Dr. Mathias' office this afternoon with the letter in my hand. I told her I just had to come say hello and thank you. She says she is so excited for me and is so happy that I am so excited. We figured out how I'll have to do my scheduling for next semester and discussed what I need to do next. Right now, it is kind of one step at a time and go with the flow. I have approximately five weeks left of school to figure out as much as possible before I move back to PA for the following four months. I need to figure out plane ticket stuff, when I am going to get there, when I'm going to leave...the list goes on and on, but despite the stress of it, there is an air of fun to it. Just knowing what the outcome of all this planning is....Ah! This is so right. Thank you, God, for all you are blessing me with! As for the rest of my life, I was home on holiday for Easter from Thursday thru yesterday. It was nice. We had a good family Easter. (I got my new ipod! yay!...and my older sister gave me some cute clothes of hers to wear for the next year or so till she can fit them again...she's going to have a baby...I'm gonna be an aunt!) I relaxed, took a break from singing, spent time with family, etc. Saturday, I went and saw the NY Met broadcast of Tristan und Isolde. It was really cool. Five hours long but really cool. The tenor flew in from Berlin with short notice to fill in because the tenor who was supposed to sing was sick. It was crazy...they were teaching him the blocking during the intermissions! I think I'll be going nuts if that ever happens to me! Opera is usually so romantic and makes me cry, but being in the field myself, I cannot help but laugh at probably the most serious and dramatic parts...like when someone is dying. One guy was stabbed and completely fell off the stage (on purpose)...giggles...another guy died and then proceeded to crawl off the stage...more giggles...Tristan's hair got stuck on the belt of the guy holding him...chuckles. Oh, opera! Gotta love it! I got to see the Romeo et Juliette broadcast with my mom back in December (her first opera experience). It was absolutely gorgeous!, but, of course, when they died together, I burst into laughter. It's horrible, I know. It's just so melodramatic. (And recall my melodramatic tendencies. hehe! So ridiculous!) Anywho, the whole time I was watching Tristan und Isolde I kept thinking, "Thank God I NEVER have to sing Wagner!!!" I'll watch others sing it, but I am SO glad, I never will be the one singing it. Give me Rossini or Donizetti or Bellini or Mozart any day. That's who I am...and what my voice is meant to sing. No Brunhildes for me!

Some things are meant to be...

...the clouds moving fast and free...the sun on a silver sea...a sky that's bright and blue... (sorry...musical moment!) Anywho...It's official!!!! I'm going to Hungary! The letter isn't exactly in my hand yet, but Dr. Mathias stopped me in the hallway this afternoon. (She's the lady who runs the program and the one who has tutored me...she is one of the greatest pedagogues I have ever met and such a sweetheart! And she is retiring at the end of the semester! :( She shall certainly be missed!) She has been trying to schedule a meeting with the selection committee, but it was posing impossible since the dean would not return her messages (argh!), so she decided to do it by email. She said she hadn't heard back from everyone yet, but enough had to tell me...and I had her full recommendation. I am SOOOO excited! I gave her this huge hug and was pretty much jumping up and down. I mean, I knew there was really no question about whether I would get to go, but there is always that nervousness waiting for an official outcome. This was certainly a fabulous turn to a not-so-fabulous day. (I had another audiation exam today. Yuck!) I also ran into Lynn in the hallway later and shared the great news with her...no surprise to her I'm sure! This is going to be so good for me! Europe watch out! Samantha's on her way! (at the end of August, that is!) And Katrin....I'll certainly be coming to Vienna while I'm there! :)

I'm singin' in the rain! Just singin' in the rain...

I love life! Just had to say that. So, I'm new to this whole itunes thing, and the other night I couldn't sleep, so I was playing around on my computer. I discovered that there are international radio stations in itunes! How fabulous! That just makes me smile. Better yet, there is one from Italy called Lolliradio, the happy station! YES! Ridiculous, I know, but that's the spice of life. This morning I decided to click on it and Singin' in the Rain just happened to be what was playing. How better to wake up! And it was pouring down rain outside. So like the crazy girl I am, I was dancing and singing around my room as I got ready. Gotta love it! Oh, and my French has improved slightly! Elise, one of the new vocal professors here, has been helping me. She is such a dear! (She and Lynn were taught by the same teacher, so they have very similar techniques/styles.) We are always meeting in the halls chatting about this or that, catching up on each other's lives, etc. We've become good friends. She just happens to be French Canadian, too, and is being so kind coaching me in some French pronunciation. The goal with singing is to make it as authentic to the language as possible...you don't want to be onstage singing French or Italian or whatever and sound American-like...you want to sound like a native to the language. Last night I was studying my music and listening back to bits of the tape I recorded when we worked together, and I noticed some differences. She said a lot of things that helped me. It doesn't change how hard it is, though! I was reading something on Anna Netrebko the other day where she said that she understood all she sang except in French...when it came to that, she was like a monkey imitating what her coach does. That'd be me! But Rome wasn't built in a day.

There are gentlemen in this world!

The past couple of days it has been really rainy here. As I was walking outside under my "special" umbrella (it does not like to stay up!), I all of asudden recalled a few weeks ago when it rained. I was walking to the campus center and had forgotten to grab an umbrella, but I figured I wasn't going very far so I'd be fine. Out of nowhere this random guy I have never met before came up behind me and covered me with his umbrella and walked with me to the door and opened it for me! How sweet! Gentlemen do exist! Now, I just need to find me a keeper! hehe! (Actually, I was introduced to some really nice guys this weekend...) Oy! What a week! It's been something else. Most of the week, I wasn't in a very fabulous mood. I'm usually very bubbly...not so much this week. Everything was great and absolutely horrible at the same time. I can't really explain it. So much in life is good...I am so blessed. But then everything seemed to be falling apart right before my eyes. Thursday was when everything went smacking into the wall. Audiation (ear-training for music) has always been really difficult for me. It doesn't come easily, so I have to work extra hard. (Last semester, I had TWO tutors...one being a professor! But I brought my grade up a whole 11% by the end of the semester! YAY! This semester, I've been doing it all on my own and doing really well...but with lots of extra practice, too.) Thursday, we had a performance exam where we have to go into our theory professor's office and sing the different chords and scales/tonalities, sing prepared melodies, and sight-sing. I gave most of my practice time for a week (we get the sheets of what will be on the exam one week prior). I knew that stuff inside and out. I was going to go in there and kick butt. Yeah, right. I kicked butt alright...my own! I freaked out and screwed up on so much. Argh! The morning had been particularly stressful (whosever idea it was to invent group projects was dumb!), so I was already not in a very good mood. Then, I just completely freaked out before I walked into the room to take my exam. I don't know why. I had been doing so well. The things I sang, I have no idea where they came from. It was ridiculous! I screwed up on the even the simplest of things. I was so mad at myself. What I exemplified in there was not something they'd want to send overseas. Of course, as soon as I walked out of there I had myself a good cry and then buried myself in some piano practice (I'm really not so great at that either) before my voice lesson. I was still extremely frustrated with myself as I headed upstairs to Lynn's studio, but my lesson was so wonderful. Like I've said before, Lynn is like an angel from God. I walked in there feeling awful, but singing served as my therapy. (I truly believe the voice has healing powers.) Lynn commented on how well I was singing, and she was right. I was sounding great! Better than I have in a long time. My spirits were lifted, and things were sunny again (probably helped it was sunny outside, and sun was pouring into the studio through the windows). Everything with my voice is starting to click (starting being the key word). I was so excited. My disappointment was still there, but the goodness of life was taking over. Oh, and in my lesson we mainly concentrated on picking out my pieces to sing at NATS state competition next month. Our choices ended up being everything I never thought we'd pick, but I think we chose the right ones...I just have a lot of work ahead of me to clean them up and make them performance-ready. The one has a lot of melismatic areas (runs, or lots of notes for one syllable), and I have never actually performed any of that sort, so that's a little unnerving. Anywho, Lynn gave me another new piece, Longing, for my 20th century entry. It's by Robert Saari. It is actually from a whole cycle called Laurel Leaves. The songs are SO beautiful! The first one is called Rain Has Fallen. She sang it to me. It was one of the most beautiful moments. Bittersweet. Chad was playing the piano, I was looking at the music over his shoulder, and Lynn was singing. I almost burst into tears. She'll say that it wasn't that great and that she's just an old soprano who does not sound like she once did, but it's still there. I never heard her in her prime, but I know that it is just as beautiful now. Near then end of the song, she made me join in, but I did so very reluctantly. The sweetest thing about these songs is that she sang them personally for Robert Saari (she referred to him as "Bob"). I know that one of them was actually written for her and is dedicated to her, and I am almost certain that that was not the only one. And...my dear friend Melody said that the book was sitting on the piano earlier in the week. She asked who they were for in her lesson, and Lynn said for me. I feel so honored that she would want me to sing these precious pieces! Chad, too, said he was hoping she'd give them to me because he kept thinking how great I'd sound on them. Aww! I am more thankful than words can say! Okay...back to my week's story...Thursday evenings I also take a yoga class, and it is so relaxing. It did me a lot of good this week, too. Friday was a brilliant day! I was my bubbly self again. It is amazing what a voice lesson with Lynn and a yoga class can do to you! :)

Blizzard!!!

This weekend the choir was supposed to go on a "mini tour" to a few small towns, but then we were hit with a crazy blizzard. There is over a foot of snow outside! Oh my! (Actually, for here, that IS a lot of snow.) Growing up in the snow belt, this is really nothing. This sort of thing happens all the time. Trekking across campus through mounds of snow is rather fun I think! However, this is probably the most snow this place has seen in several years, so the whole city practically shut down. So we did not have choir tour. YAY! (I really was not looking forward to it.) Since we were snowed in, a few friends and I goofed off a bit. Watched some movies, visited the art gallery, talked, played on the computer, talked some more, trekked through the snow to get some food somewhere (most everything was closed!). But it was fun.

Last night, we watched The Holiday. It was hilarious! I really enjoyed it. I did not think it would be so amusing. Friday night, I got to talk to my dear friend Crystal on the phone. We talked for an hour and a half! She's in grad school now, so we don't get to see each other or talk as much anymore. I miss her! It was so nice to catch up! Over all, though, I pretty much goofed off and accomplished really nothing at all the whole weekend. Oh, well. Guess that is alright sometimes. (I really am too hard on myself sometimes.) My singing the past week has been not so swell, but it'll be alright. Probably just tired or something. It's just so frustrating. My lesson Thursday was quite ridiculous but filled with more giggles than usual. Lynn and I have determined that we share the same brain or something. We are both just crazy sopranos. We worked mostly on French this week. I am really quite horrible at it! It was like My Fair Lady all over again. I felt like Eliza Doolittle. We both thought that same thing at the same time. We'd get about five minutes through without laughter and then burst into laughter yet again. This went on for the whole hour. I really am going to miss her next semester...but when I come back, we'll get to have three semesters of greater work than we could ever do if I weren't to go away.

Eric Whitacre and Hungary update...

Sunday afternoon, we had a choir rehearsal for the Eric Whitacre festival the next day. While we were rehearsing, Eric actually arrived and worked with us ahead of time. Apparently, he absolutely loves our choir. (He's been here a time before and worked with the choir.) It was really cool. He's a California dude and an incredible musician....genius composer. All day Monday was the festival. Eric also brought his best friend along, poet Charles Anthony Silvestri (aka Tony). Tony was brilliant! He wrote the lyrics to a few of Eric's songs and spoke to us about his poetry and paintings. He was so sincere and honest about everything. And so eloquent, too! He spoke beautifully of this "glowing ball" that is the music we make and that the ball is passed ever so gently to the listeners, as a gift. (It reminded me much of when Lynn says, "Your gift is meant for sharing, not only for show.") He put into words what music does and why we do what we do. Both Tony and Eric just made me smile. Between the two of them, it was all about the beauty and the music and the gift. It was so refreshing. Sometimes, all the work on technique and small nuances and theory can cloud over the purity of the music. Every now and again, we need a little reminder of what it's all about. Because Eric created the music we were singing, he was able to convey to us exactly what he meant by everything, pulling out every colour and layer within the music on his pages. So cool! I love doing that! I got my picture with the two of them as well!

I went up to them after the concert and was like, "Hi guys! Could I get my picture with you? (big smile)" Pretty much being myself. Eric kind of just looked at me, probably thinking, "Who is this crazy girl?" Tony just cracked a smile in return. I kind of forgot that they do not really know me, so I can understand that I may have frightened them a bit. Oh, well. It was fun all the same. And I got to talk to Tony about his stories. (Throughout the day, both Eric and Tony shared some of they story, which was really neat. I love to here people's stories. It makes things more meaningful.) OH! Yesterday, I had my music assessment for the Hungary program! I think it went pretty well. I kind of botched up the piano portion, but it's okay. I am so excited about going! I don't find out anything official until possibly the end of the month, though! Aaahhh! Patience....a virtue God did not instill in me, but He's certainly giving me opportunities to develop it! For now, I need to try and put it out of the front of my mind and concentrate on learning my repertoire and continuing to practice piano and audiation (ear-training). Sometimes I think my motivation is gone, but then I realize that it is probably just my perfectionistic tendencies creeping back in...I've been doing so well not letting them control my life! Easing up a bit once in awhile is probably good for me.

My computer was killed...(but it's all better now!)

While I was home for break, I took my computer in to get it checked out because it was doing some weird things. Well...the Geek Squad killed it! Not really, they just replaced my hard drive without notifying me first. All of my information was GONE! My music was GONE! My papers were GONE! More importantly, my music was GONE! (Who cares about the papers...they're already turned in.) Needless to say, I was in an incredulous state, laughing and crying at the same time as the guy told me what they had done. I wasn't mad, just frustrated and not believing what had just happened. Luckily, though, my mom's friend's son is a super genius with computers and was able to take my old stupid hard drive and transfer my documents and music to the new one. YAY! My music's back! And after a crazy long time re-downloading my internet programs, instant messenger, etc. my computer is all better. Now, I'm back at school and have a mixed set of emotions. I don't really know how I feel. It's almost as if I'm homesick, which is kind of ridiculous. I'm only 3 1/2 hours away and will be back for Easter break in a couple of weeks. It's been strange. The past couple of times I have come back from breaks, I have felt this way. Wanting to be here but not wanting to be here. Life is so confusing. My mom asked me the other day if I still wanted to go to Hungary because I did not have to. Of course, I want to go! I'd be insane not to, but I am kind of freaking out about the idea. The more it is becoming a reality, it kind of scares me. If I am "homesick" 3 1/2 hours away, it makes me wonder when I'm an ocean away. I've been to Europe before and loved it and know I'll love it even more this time. But there is no going home for four whole months. Oh, whatever...I'm just overreacting right now. I'll be fine. And it'll be amazing. I actually got back to school yesterday afternoon. One of my dad's friends was going right by my school, so I rode with him a day early and stayed at a friend's apartment for the night since I could not get into my dorm yet. It was a pretty boring night. I probably should have practiced, but I was tired and knew I would not get anywhere even if I did go to the conservatory. Instead, I phoneticized some German, watched television (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and House to be exact), and had some peppermint tea. My mom called and we talked for an hour and a half! Crazy! She was watching Harry Potter, too, and wanted to know why things were happening. She's never read the books or watched the movies, and the night before the first movie was on. She was hilarious. We would finally hang up and not even a half hour later, she rang again asking more questions and laughing hysterically at Ron being scared of the big spiders. This went on pretty much all night. It was quite humorous. It was nice, though. As much as my family drives me crazy, I gotta love 'em.