This afternoon, I came across my book of notes from voice lessons with Janos. I am so thankful I've taken notes on my lessons all these years and especially that particular semester. So much wisdom and truth...and so much that makes total sense...now! Isn't it incredible how hindsight seems to always be 20/20? I'm not at all disappointed about that semester. Rather, I think I soaked in as much as I could at that point in my musical studies. (But I would be lying if I didn't admit to at least part of me wishing I sang then like I can now. I can only imagine the breakthroughs in my musicality that would have happened that autumn.) It's funny how fickle the voice and mind can be in the throws of trying to figure how to "support" (or even what that means!), to sing "into the mask" or resonance, to determine the sound before the voice even sounds.

Reading through these notes, I see now just how much he was pushing me. He had only 16 weeks with me. Twice a week. And he threw as much at me as he possibly could in our meetings for me to take with me. Years worth of information and ideas, really. I think he knew there was no possible way for me to understand it all and "make it happen" in those short weeks, but that by passing the tools to me, I'd be able to carry them with me through the years and gradually, they would reveal themselves to me when each was ready.

And for me, these notebooks are now priceless, chronicling a semester of greater musical growth than I ever thought or was able to realize it was. Each portion I read, it is as if I am back in the classroom where my lessons were held; I can recall in my memory every moment and his voice as he said everything. Keys and phrases that form a large portion of my own unique technique that works for me. 

(Also, reading these notes, I am in awe of how perfectly complimentary my lessons with each of my teachers...Lynn, Janos, Jayne...have been and are. They each fit together perfectly in the puzzle that makes up my voice. I know that's a rarity for someone to find, and I'll count that among my blessings! And a wonderful reassurance that I have been/am where I'm meant to be through each step thus far.)


I definitely left a part of my heart in Hungary. Some days, I do wonder what it would've been like if I'd returned -- or simply stayed. Alas, everything happens for a reason, season, and/or lifetime. And somehow, I think that semester, those lessons, teachers, and experiences...were all three. :)

One day, though, I do want to return to sing for Janos and the gang, again. Perhaps, a recital at the Institute may be in order...?? And now, the soprano plots... Muahaha! ;) 
(If anyone feels so inclined to fund this little adventure, I wouldn't be opposed... hehe!)

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"More and more, my role is becoming to help you discover your own unique key to unlock your own unique, special talents. And it is in my hope that I help you find it, and when you return home, you can hold onto it and keep it with you and build upon it." ~Orsolya (my Hungarian piano teacher)

And something I'd heard many times before and a million times since, 

Janos pinpointed me the minute we met:
"I know you don't particularly like coloratura, Samantha, but I know your voice...it has to move, whether you fight it or not. I will push you to do the coloratura. You must do it. Your voice needs to do it." 

We must practice what you don't know. Practicing what we know, although very nice feeling, is not helpful. And practicing what we do not know can be very frustrating and disheartening and difficult, but it is very necessary, very important... First, we need to concentrate on your weaknesses. This I know." ~Janos

"It is said that a person sings 'well' three times a year...two of which are in the bathroom. It rarely happens that it is in the performance. But that does not matter. What matters is that every time you sing you try to do better than your lowest level. The goal is not to sing better than you have in your entire life but to sing above your lowest level. In that, you raise your lowest level which also raises your highest. You never want to sing below your lowest level. That is the goal. It is very important to know. You cannot expect perfection...you won't find it because it cannot happen." ~Janos

"Samantha, you cannot worry about the mistake. If you measure by them, all you will have is a very long list of mistakes. Embrace it. Survive it. And concentrate your thought on what to do, how to do. That is how we must focus our thoughts. Concentrate on 2, 3, 4 things at a time to pay attention to, not all the wrongs to 'fix' because then they will never be fixed." ~Janos

And a quintessential Janos-ism:
"I have bad news...it was quite good!" ;)

Rejoice...greatly?

Well, sadly, that second trip to the Berkshires last week got cancelled. :*(  C'est la vie. It rained there, too, so it probably wouldn't have been that pleasant. And I wouldn't have gotten to have chats and froyo and slurpies and a LONG walk from Cambridge across the Charles to Boston with Edwin! Such fun! :)

It was also good because I had something else I needed to concentrate on this past weekend...

I received an email on Thursday asking if I was available to sing a specific piece for something. And not just any specific piece..."Rejoice, greatly" from Handel's Messiah, aka a giant thorn in the side of most sopranos (...and being a budding lyric coloratura, it's an even more pertinent piece for me to get under my belt...and in an utmost pristine way!)

Fast forward to Friday afternoon when my vocal coach pops his head into my practice room and declares that I have to sing it. I about burst into tears right then and there. Sure, I know the piece because I've worked on it and actually fairly recently in a lesson, but never have I performed it.

Five minutes later, my pianist calls and hears in my voice that I was on the verge of crying. Unfortunately, he had to cancel our meeting that afternoon, but he saved the day by offering to meet with me to help me go through it on Saturday afternoon. Mark is the greatest! I am so thankful to be working with him on my recital over the next year! :)

Fast forward, again, to Tuesday afternoon. "Rejoice, faintly" Day. haha! Of course, my reflux chooses this week to suddenly have an outburst of unexplainable problems, so Lord only knows what sound was going to come from me, let alone flying coloratura that I needed to happen! However, I've learned through previous experiences that most times, I am the only one who knows my reflux is bothering me. Even Jayne is typically shocked when I reveal that I was having a bout because she couldn't hear anything amiss. Reflux can be a demon like that. Thus, I try to rely on my technique and breath rather than aural sensory feedback and can then proceed to "sing over it" in a sense, through a higher vocal placement. (I do have to say, though, that singing in the Wolfinsohn Room at the school is one of my favorites...makes the sound so round thanks to all the resonant wood surrounding you. Mmhmm! So fun!)

And you know what? It actually turned out pretty darn well! It really was rather joyous to sing. :) No, it was certainly not perfect, but that was okay for the intents and purposes for which I was asked to sing this aria. It was also a great opportunity for me to see and measure my progress on this aria and what still needs work before I perform it for the "real deal." In the end, I thanked my vocal coach for "forcing" me to sing it. I needed that push. :) 

School begins in a mere three weeks, and I am so geared up for this year! It's going to be intense but totally wonderful...and with a giant dollop of crazy! ;) Minus the arias I need to come up with for Opera Workshop, most of my repertoire is set and chock full of exciting stuff! My teacher and I couldn't possibly be a more perfect fit, I'm discovering new things and understanding more things in my voice, I have a "business plan," I am already signed up to sing in the first masterclass of the semester, I've been kicking my butt into gear for that darn piano proficiency exam, and there's a recital dress (and shoes!) that I have my eye on... Muahaha! ;) I love my life! I love my school! And I love what I do!

Today, I met with Mark (aka "The Piano Hero" hehe!) to get a jump start on my gigantic music portfolio. He is so wonderful! I had to leave to go to work, but I was having so much fun that I didn't want to go! Can't wait to meet with him, again, next week! :)

My Day in the Berkshires

Yesterday, a few colleagues and I road-tripped to the Berkshires for a day at Tanglewood Music Center. It was absolutely beautiful and perfect! :) Love it! It is definitely on my list of happiest places on earth. So magnificently idyllic and picturesque. And so calming! There's a different sense of time there, too. As my teacher put it, there is something about being away from "worldly distractions" that makes time slow down just a bit.

The music is stunning and creates an atmosphere of sound... All around you will hear notes and voices and tunes drifting through the hills. Such attention and care to the art form. I tried -- but was only in vain -- to convince the colleagues that were with me to ditch the rest of the week and just stay there. But alas, that was merely a pipe dream, as responsibility was calling us back to life in the city.

It was a totally random, spur-of-the-moment trip because another colleague of ours who is studying there this summer scored us some free passes! Three concerts, lots of lazing around on the lawns, trekking through the woods to a private lake, a gorgeous sunset over the Berkshires, and a lot of joy. I certainly didn't want to leave! However, I will be back many, many times in the future (one being this Saturday for another day trip, since our passes last all week! YAY!)...and hope to someday be a fellow there. What a wonderful thing that'd be! :)

Rachael & Brian's Big Day!

A little late, but c'est la vie! ;)

Last Saturday, the lovely Rachael married her "grad school sweetheart," Brian. They are two absolutely wonderful people, so caring and sweet. And what a party! Such good fun with so many beautiful spirits! A million people (I'd never met) from Ohio...Cap grads from yester-years, and Kodaly Institute alums. It's such a small, small world we live in! I'd never met most of these people until that day, but it's like one big family; you feel like you've known them for years the minute you meet them. :) And everyone is connected to everyone else in some way or another!

I spent the day at the hotel with this precious little girl:

Her parents and big brother were in the wedding party, but it was decided that it would be easier for her not to be at the ceremony. So I got the fabulous job of hanging out with her all afternoon! Such a good, sweet baby! :) However, please note: Taking a walk around Beacon Hill with a stroller is not the wisest choice of activities. Those ancient sidewalks were not meant for prams and baby carriers! haha! That was an adventure...

In the evening, everyone returned to the hotel, and the little darling and I joined the party in the ballroom. When I first got upstairs, I walked into the cocktail room with her on my hip, and people from Easter at Rachael and Brian's house were like, "Uhhh...where'd you get the baby...? I mean...you look really good if you had her since Easter..." HAHAHA! Priceless!

Then, Jayne and her husband spotted me across the ballroom with the baby, so we went and said hello. That woman is one of my favorites! :) And it was lovely to meet her husband, too!

Dinner was delicious and included three courses! As their "party favors," Rachael and Brian gave us English Christmas Crackers. (Those two are obsessed with Britain, too! haha!) Inside the crackers were bubbles and mint candies...and paper crowns! What fun!

It was quite the sight to look across the room and see EVERYONE eating, drinking, and laughing, all whilst wearing our colorful new crowns.

When the dancing began, we couldn't be stopped! We danced the evening away. (And it certainly caught up with my body the next day...oy! haha!) Jayne and I even do-si-do-ed randomly! AWESOME! ;)

It was certainly a glorious evening that made me so thankful for all the beautiful people in my life. :)

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In other news, I have had this whole weekend free...and have done absolutely nothing! haha! Lovely to be lazy sometimes, but it always makes me feel a bit guilty for not being a "productive member of society."  And watching everyone be so successful in the Olympics, while I just sit and watch feels sort of out of balance!  Let's get real: Michael Phelps is 27 years old, has 22 medals, and is "retiring." That certainly can't make the nearly 25 year old sitting here feel under-accomplished! haha!

It's stiflingly hot, and I don't really want to go out and battle the tourists and crowds of people everywhere...but I also should leave the apartment for awhile!

Also...I have totally fallen in love with a recital dress. I want it! I need it! I gotta have it! haha! I know, I know...it's so early for that. BUT the program has been set and in the beginning stages of being learned. There needs to be a trip to try this beauty on when I visit home at the end of the month!!! GAH! Obsessed! =D

(Oh yeah...on a totally unpremeditated whim the other day, I booked tickets for a "surprise" visit home for my nephew's 4th birthday! Shhh! Don't tell him! It is definitely the weekend before I begin classes, again, so I'll be getting back to Boston approximately 18 hours before I have class...because I am basically crazy! haha!)