And the results are finally in....

Gratitude 94

I GOT AN 'A' ON MY MUSIC HISTORY EXAM AND IN THE CLASS FOR THE SEMESTER!!!! EEEK!!! SUPER EXCITED!!!!! :D

A Senior?!

Wow! It's been quite awhile. I apologize for that. However, I figured studying for finals held precedence over blogging. haha! I spent so many hours in the library this past week! I think it paid off, though. My music history exam yesterday morning, I feel, went very well. I am anxious to know my grade. I had my last exam this afternoon. Science. Ugh. However, it was not too awful. And now I am technically a senior?! Eeek! That's a little unnerving and hard to believe.

Last night, as I sat in the library studying for an exam (aka science) that I, unfortunately, had little motivation to prepare for nor care much about, my ipod began to play "Different Drum" by Aurora, a Christian pop group from I think early 2000s. The music was just there, clearing distractions of the room around me and, hopefully, helping me pass time and absorb myself in the endless notes. (There had to have been 50 trees killed for my binder of notes alone! Nem jó!) I have always liked the song...it spoke to me somehow, especially in times when I found myself wandering down unbeaten paths on my own because they were the paths I must follow...my yellow-brick road, as I like to call it. (Seems to be how my entire life goes, actually, but that's okay...it wouldn't be "Samantha" any other way!) However, I never noticed the whispering voice at the end of the track saying in hushed tones, "Don't be afraid of the future." haha! How ironic! Because that is exactly how I have been in recent weeks...afraid of the future...the unknown. I couldn't help but think that after that last exam the next day, I became officially a senior. Scary. The unknown lies ever before me. How appropriate to hear that little message...like God speaking (which, by the way, is the name of another song my friend Cam gave me last year). It was like he was saying, "Fear not, Samantha, for I am with you always..." Or something along those lines.

So now I am finished with the semester...and it is not yet May! Craziness! This year has been huge for me. I have made fabulous break-throughs with my voice. Made some brilliant new friends. Traveled the freaking world!!! (And got some pretty stamps in my passport! hehe!) Sang in Europe! Gave a recital just months after returning to the States. Done more public speaking than possibly ever before. Saw Renee Fleming...maybe next year will be the actual meeting her. Was asked to sing at my opera buddy Katie's wedding next summer. Yay! I Am ever-thankful for my weird and fabulous relationships with Lynn and Chad. Strengthened my faith...especially thanks to some incredible friends whose faith is enviably strong. Learned some Hungarian. Developed my musicianship and renewed/strengthened my bond with music more than ever in my entire life. Slept in hostels. Opera nights. Random adventures to Sonic, Build-a-Bear, Katie and Bryan's, around Bexley, etc. This new-found yoga-zen-thing I have discovered...fewer freak-outs and calmness rather than stress. (I like it!) The list is possibly endless.

I have grown so much. This year especially. I was talking with my friend Sarah the other night and was just thinking about how I have changed and grown over the past three years. I am not the same girl that went on her own four hours from home to study singing and music. Most definitely not. But that is not a bad thing in any way, either. Quite the contrary, I think it has only strengthened who I am; I know my morals, values, and ideals and hold them ever with me. The boundaries of this campus, the walls of the conservatory, the brick paths, my teachers...they have seen me grow. (Well, besides the time I was gone...but that is actually an extension of such things...I grew even more because of that...) With every step, every fall or stumble, every success, every adventure, every freak-out, every excitement or disappointment. And you know, I am glad for it all...even the stress-filled, semi-defeated tears...each one of the tear drops or bubbles of laughter have had a part in shaping who I am today. They have all been necessary. And I am so thankful for it. Köszönöm szépen, Isten. Thank you beautifully, God.

Okay, well, I did not intend for this post to end up as sappy as it has. Oh, well. It happens. In other news:

Sarah, Tracy and I finally did have our adventure to Build-a-Bear to make SAI bears. haha! It was brilliant! ;)

And we definitely named them each after a founder or SAI. haha! There are seven founders, and we each picked our favorite. Mine is Georgina Potts, Tracy's is Nora Crane Hunt, and Sarah's is Leila Farlin Laughlin. Yes, those are real freaking names! The guy at Build-a-Bear gave us the most ridiculous look, like "you have got to be kidding me, right?" Nope, it's true. And the other four aren't much better. But then again, it was 1903.

Gratitude 93
Guess what?! My friend Quinton, a composition major, has asked if it would be alright if he wrote me a song. Well, duh! haha! That's so awesome! He has asked me to find a Hungarian poem to set...he has Hungarian ancestry and is very interested in Hungarian influences in his music. How cool! He writes some brilliant pieces! I am so excited! I cannot wait!

Also, for those avid readers, you may remember a bit about flying a frog kite last April and getting it stuck eternally in a tree. Well, eternally may have been the correct adverb, as it is still there. Here's the picture to prove it:

How silly! It makes me giggle every time I walk past it.

And, I suppose, lastly for this ridiculously long post, a little more laughter...Katie sent me this video, and it is hilarious! I freaking love opera! ;)

Denyce Graves is actually going to be giving a recital nearby in May, but I will be at home during that time.

A Sample Article?

This afternoon, I found an advertisement on our daily email news sheet for columnists and such for the university student newspaper for next semester. Curious, I sent an email inquiring for an application. Now, I have been asked to submit a sample article. I can turn it in after I am finished for the semester, so I will leave it till after I am finished with my finals next Tuesday. (Then, I shall consume myself in my scholarship application for Hungary and, now, writing this article.) As I columnist, I would pretty much get to write about whatever I want, which is pretty sweet. The question is what to choose to write about for my sample article...  

I also have a feeling that I may end up stumped on article topics, writing every week, but we'll see where the wind blows...Thy will be done...

Sweet Music

I came back from SAI this evening to find this, and I think it is especially fitting to my life right now, as well as the events of today. ;)

And the beauty is...

SAI Roses and Laughter

Yesterday, myself and four of the other girls from our SAI chapter got up far before the sun and took a crazy road trip to SAI Province Day. It was a long drive and very early in the morning, but it was a great time. We met some fellow SAI sisters from other chapters, sang songs, played games, had chocolate cake, shared stories, planted flowers. (We are already gardening!!! Oh no! I have this weird obssession with the fact that we are all going to be gardeners when we grow up and go around saying things like, "Oh, my petunias!" Who knows if it is true, but it will probably happen. Another one of those soprano/voice teacher quirks that I think we all inherit.)

Tracy and Sarah...members-in-training who get inducted this afternoon!

Alexa is so goofy ;)

We got back around 6pm, sleepy and full of giggles. It feels like we experienced two days in one because we had already done a full day's worth of stuff and then had a full evening of plans. It was a good day, though. Today, however, the lack of sleep is catching up, I think. We have SAI initiation this afternoon followed by our (hopefully very short) final meeting of the semester. Sarah, Tracy, and I are going to go to Build-a-Bear to make SAI bears if we get out in time. hehe! Yes, we are crazy girls. Gotta love it! Besides, life would be so boring without our silly adventures. hehe!

As for the rest of life since the Renee Fleming excitement, Katie and I ran into Lynn in the ladies room Wednesday afternoon and were a bunch of giggling lunatics. haha! I was freaking out telling her the dress story, and we were jumping up and down about how absolutely fabulous it was. I had my lesson just after that encounter, and Lynn made constant references to Renee and continues to every time I see her. After seeing Renee, huge connections in my singing happening in my head, and concepts I have been struggling with for a very long time are clicking. (Gratitude 92) It is so exciting! Although, I have the craziest analogies in my head that makes it work for me. It cracks me up. I am going to be that eccentric voice teacher someday. I can just see it. haha! Nagyon szeretem énekelni! I love singing! I love practicing. And I find myself NOT getting frustrated with myself when I don't get it all the time because I now know exactly what it is and that I WILL get it. I can see the light. :) And the beautiful music in the soprano repertoire! Ah! Nagyon szeretem! I love it! Renee has inspired me. :)

Also, I have stumbled upon an odd "new" philosophy. On Good Friday, I was saying my rosary and started thinking a lot about the line in the Lord's Prayer, Thy will be done. I am not sure why, but I found myself praying that specific line in everything I said, did, or dreamed of for my life. I took a beautiful step towards handing my obsession for control over. And you know, there is so much greater peace in this feeling. I know that He has it all figured out and will let me know when the time is right. Disappointments are difficult (esp. when they sometimes become a frequent visitor), yet they must only be because He loves us that much...and perhaps it just means there is something better coming that we just aren't allowed to know about yet.

Easter Holidays

So I know this is a little behind, but I still wanted to post a few pictures from my long weekend at home. Looking through them on my camera just now, there are some absolutely hilarious pictures, but of course, I could only pick a few for the post.

Aunt Becca napping while Baby Xander fakes her out

Entranced by the blue egg dye



Pretty colours!

Yummy! Apparently, Aunt Sam turned out to be the only one to get him to eat his whole bowl of cereal.

It was a much-needed break and was pretty fun. Ridiculous...but then again, when is time with my family not? haha! ;) Perhaps, I shall go home for May. I don't have a job here or there for the summer as of now, so we'll see where life leads me.

Complete Awe and Amazement

This evening was life-changing. Renee is PHENOMENAL!!! I was pretty much freaking out the whole time. At the first touch of the piano and her first uttered syllable, the entire room went still. It was pure gold. Ah! Everything was absolutely gorgeous! My favorite piece, though, had to be "A Letter from Sullivan Ballou" by John Kander. Ah! It was heart-wrenching! Isaac and I sighed in unison constantly through that piece. And then there were FIVE encores!!! Brilliant! I could have sat there all night listening.

I sadly, did not get to meet her. I was quite upset by that actually. I was so looking forward to it and having her sign my coloratura arias book. (Yes, I know...I am such a music nerd! I can't help it! I just LOVE it!) However, I could tell by the way she carried herself on stage, the genuine love and passion she had for the music, and the way she spoke to the audience that she is one of the most wonderful people. Perhaps someday I will meet her. And if I could be a quarter of how successful she is, I'd be in sheer bliss.

I snuck a picture! teehee! ...except then my camera battery was dying! Nooo!

Our feeble attempt to photograph ourselves...oh well! We had an absolute blast! :)

I stumbled into a funny little anecdote I can tell now when I went to the toilet before the show, though! hehe! As typical Samantha, the ladies' room is a common stop. However, to find the restrooms I had to walk all over the place under this building and was pretty sure I'd get lost. On my way back, I saw another staircase that I thought would simply take me back up on the other side than when I came down. Not so. I found who I believe to be Renee's assistant...and Renee's dress hanging on a rack!! EEEK! I can only imagine what would have happened if Renee had walked into the stairwell at that time! haha! When I got back up to Isaac and Katie at our seats, I was freaking out...yet again...and they were so confused. I kept saying, "I saw the dress!! It's burgundy! And gorgeous!" They didn't believe me, but sure enough, after intermission, Renee walked out in a beautiful burgundy gown. How cool! (Gratitude 91...for the whole experience!)

I am still completely mesmerized by the entire evening. She is a true inspiration to my work. I really don't know what else to say...I have been left without words...the music only speaks. Yet, I have that lingering feeling I had after my recital...all the hype and excitement and finally it happens...but soon it is over and then what? Prayer, I suppose.

I shall write about my holiday soon. For now, however, I should be in bed, as I have class in the morning...for which I am underprepared because I went out this evening....but it was SOOOOO worth it! :)

OMG!!

Gratitude 90

I HAVE TICKETS TO A RENEE FLEMING RECITAL NEXT TUESDAY!!!! EEEK!!! I am pretty much freaking out! My opera buddy and I, along with our friend Isaac, are going to see/hear Renee! O. M. G. I was soooooo excited when, to my fabulous surprise, I found them in my mailbox yesterday evening. I even called Lynn at home. haha! She was so excited, too. :D


Tonight, I am going home for the Easter holidays. (I am escaping! muahaha!) I am so ready for this holiday! Also, for those that were wondering, my audition last night...ha!...that was terrible.

Saying No

Today, I stood up and told my teacher no. I know this probably comes across as shocking, but I promise I was not being insubordinate in any way. It was a lesson in knowing what my voice can handle and what is too much. I know Lynn's psychology...either she wanted to teach me how to say no or the task of standing in on short notice. Either way, she would win, and she knew it...

Lynn asked me about learning the masterwork to be performed in three weeks, and yesterday, I looked at it. It would be no easy feat (especially the beast of a work that was chosen), but I allowed myself the rehearsals of the day to see what I thought. It was a true measure of just how far my musicianship has come and the direction it is going as well as how much my voice has grown and the more control I have over it. Last night, I proved to myself that I can do it when the time comes that I need to do so. However, I also knew that it wasn't necessary to do so now (for one, there is no paycheck to come out of this), and pushing my voice was not worth the risk. And I was not okay with putting my other music aside probably entirely for the rest of the semester; it means far too much to me. Being the wonderful support that Lynn is, she honored and completely backed my decision. (Afterall, she still won regardless!)


Gratitude 89
I am ever so enormously thankful for the friend/mentor I have in Lynn. She is one of the strongest people I know yet is always there for me when I need her...regardless of how silly the "problem" is. Köszönöm szépen, drágám!

Believe it or not, the past week, I actually thought we weren't getting along, that I had done something that made her angry or disappointed with me. I was terribly upset by this. So much so that I had trouble sleeping Sunday night. So yesterday I sent her an email and then went and chatted with her. It was, of course, all made up in my head; she was never irritated with me. I had upset myself over something completely nonexistent. Life's been pretty stressful around here, and she has been under a lot of pressure. (And there is drama galore swirling around this place! ugh!) She said she might have snapped but never meant anything towards me and was sorry I had misinterpreted it. I told her semmi baj. Nothing troubled. I was just worried because there had never been any disdain between us. Ever. And I didn't like it. I have no idea how I will ever strike gold again on teachers as I have with Lynn. She is an angel from God. Köszönöm szépen, Isten! ;)

Well, I should be writing my paper for song literature and perhaps starting my one for yoga. (Because I certainly am not going to do anything over break!) Concerto competition auditions this evening! Eek! I'm singing my Delibes piece. We'll see if it is liked enough this time around to win me a place on the concert next semester. Crossing my fingers! Audition tonight at 7, and then I should know within the coming days...hopefully before break. One more day!!!! I can't wait to get away for a few days. We all need it desperately.

P.S. On my way to my science class (oh, gen. eds!) this morning, it was freaking snowing! Seriously, God? Whatchya doin' up there? Stop playing with the clouds...it isn't funny anymore. The ironic thing: I was supposed to be learning about global warming in science. How ridiculous!

Gratitude 88

I put on my pretty sparkly dress, my dear friend Rachel put extra curls in my hair, and I sang a brilliant sustainted high C#. (I felt like Anna!)

Nagyon szeretem enekelni!! I love singing!! :) Mark didn't exactly do everything we had done in rehearsals but oh well. We did our best to follow each other. We only had one rehearsal with the orchestra, so that can add to the nerves a little. It certainly wasn't perfect but who cares. That's live performance for you. And that is part of what makes it so exciting. It is in moments like last night when I know with my entire heart that I am doing what I am meant to do. :)

I handed my camera off before the concert began last night, and my friend Ken took a few pictures. I apologize that they are kind of blurry...I wouldn't let him use a flash because then I would get distracted.

Pretty dresses!! :)

"The Divas"

The lovely Lynn :)

He also surprised me and took a video of the end of my piece. :) I was amazed at how well the microphone on my camera worked...especially with the high notes. Crazy but cool!

Gratitude 87

Today's gratitude has two parts:

1) Henryk Górecki's Symphony No. 3. I think that says it all. It is absolutely gorgeous! :) However, I must warn you that it composed during socialist oppression in Poland, so it is hearwrenchingly poignant. But it is true beauty. It is on our listening list for the last segment of music history. When I was in the library listening the other day, I was carried away. I don't know why I like it so much yet, but it captured me and was like time stood still for those moments. Here is a snipit:




2) My tuning fork has returned from Nowhereland! I found it yesterday afternoon in the room I practice a lot in at the Conservatory! Yay! :) My friend Cameron was the one that found it in there! Thanks, Cam!

Ben Zander is a brilliant man! :)

Gratitude 86

This is actually kind of an old gratitude because I was sent this video a week or so ago. My friend Aani sent it to me. We both read Ben Zander's book The Art of Possibility, so when she saw this, she thought of me. His book is absolutely incredible...probably one of my favorites...at least, in terms of a nonfiction book. It pretty much changed my life after I read it. :) He is a conductor in Boston and teaches at the New England Conservatory of Music and a phenomenal lecturer. How incredible that would be to go to school there! Perhaps, it may be in my stars...I'll just have to wait and see where God pushes me. ;)





Also...my music history exam...a 96%!! YAY!!! I definitely did not think that was going to happen! I thought I had performed a solid B after I turned in the exam, but I guess my "guesses" on the ones I was not sure on were good ones! :)

Singer's Showcase this Saturday. I have been putting together the powerpoint for it. Powerpoints always take far longer than you ever anticipate...everything has to be positioned just right to be viewed from all areas of the hall and each slide has its own sizing challenges. It's okay, though...gave me an excuse to watch various episodes of Will and Grace, La Traviata, and numerous other nonsensical tv. haha! De nagyon faradt vagyok! (Have you figured this phrase out yet without me translating it? hehe! I dare you! And no online translators allowed!) Nekem kell aludni.

Rehearsal this afternoon and tomorrow evening for the show. I am a little worried about my piece, though. I love it, but it feels a little strange in my voice right now, which is weird because it suits me well. Blasted trills! I have my lesson with Lynn this afternoon...I have a feeling this is going to be a little "special." Just breathe! ;) I get to wear my pretty dress that I wore at my recital, though! Yay! I love pretty things...especially sparkly ones! :)