The Singing Bowl! :)

Gratitude 85

This afternoon at Relay for Life, my yoga instructor, Gail Spirit Sky, had a little mini yoga session, and she let me clang the singing bowl! tehehe! It pretty much made my day. I told her I needed to get me one of those to keep on my desk so that I could give it a tap to bring me back in check whenever I started to freak out. ;)


Last night was Sigma Alpha Iota and Phi Mu Alpha's annual formal. (Phi Mu is the men's music fraternity.) It was pretty sweet. I took my friend Isaac along as "my date." haha! He is such fun! He's a brilliant dancer, too.

Except for the probably all of 5 couples, most of us took friends as dates. It is so much more fun that way. We all danced and laughed the night away. I got ready at Katie's (aka Bryan's), got to wear my pretty "Doris-Day"-style dress with my cute "silver box" purse and great-grandmother's pearls, danced to "Benny and the Jets," and swing danced with Isaac. Good times with my sisters. ;)

my opera buddy, Katie! ;)

my girls! ;)


Hannah and Adam (one of the few actual couples) are so silly!


And...the cheesy "prom" picture! haha! We couldn't resist!

Directly following formal, we were signed up for Relay for Life. I got there about midnight with some of the girls but was about to fall over because I was completely exhausted. I don't know how I had made it all day. I got about four hours of sleep the night before because I was studying for my music history exam that I had neglected to get an a headstart on studying for last week, and then we went to Panera Bread at 6am to study, eat bagels, and drink coffee before the exam. That was fun. I am glad we did it, but I don't normally function well on little sleep. Also, I do not drink coffee very often, so I get extra giddy and start talking a lot faster than normal. Jaj! I think the exam went pretty well, though. There were some things I had to throw some guesses on, but I feel pretty good about it. We'll find out Monday I hope.

Anyway, for me to have been as alert and have as much energy all day and evening that I had yesterday was very surprising. I ended up staying at Relay for about an hour and then went back to my apartment for a shower and some sleep. It was necessary. We had split up in shifts, so I returned for the last shift at 11am. I am still super tired but doing better. I am going to do absolutely nothing tonight but be a vegetable and go to bed earlier than usual for a Saturday night.

Tracy and I had Rachel and Sarah put in jail at Relay! haha! It was a fundraiser but so hilariously done. ;)

I ought to practice, but it is best not to push it. The voice is easily strained when you are very tired and/or exhausted. Not healthy. Oooh! Yesterday, I took a look at "Ah, non credea" from La sonnambula! Lynn wants me to work on it! Eek! It is such a brilliant piece! When I learn music now, I start with solfa only (using my tuning fork, not the piano, if possible) and only begin to take it away when I am absolutely secure with it. I refuse to be a parrot; I am going to learn my music the right way.

Lynn has me looking at all sorts of fun stuff. I get to play around with Queen of the Night stuff but just as an exercise of the voice...too young to be serious about performing that...the F's came so easy yesterday...and I wasn't even nearly in best voice because I was tired. There are some Mozart concert arias in store, perhaps "Poor Wand'ring One" from Pirates, "Qui la voce" (Eek again! More Bellini!) from I puritani, The Doll Song from Hoffmann, the list goes on. We are just going to do some playing around for a bit. I seriously want to do some of Pauline Viardot's settings of Chopin's mazurkas, too. They are sweet! Ah! I love singing! And such beautiful music to work on! There are the moments when it feels like nothing but work, but so many more times I feel like this is nonsense...I seriously get to do what I love and [hopefully] one day get paid to do this?! This is crazy yet absolutely amazing!! :)

P.S. I flipped on the tv before I sat down to write, and Mannequin is on. haha! '80s trip! This came out in '87, the year I was born, but I remember numerous occasions growing up when we watched this. :)

Wash away the thoughts inside...

Gratitude 84

Standing in the rain today, I feel a great sense of comfort. I feel God close by me in the raindrops falling around me. I don't know what it is about the rain that makes me feel this way, but its timing is beautiful...just when I need it. The drama is still there, the to-do list is only slowly being crossed off, my eyes droop with tiredness, I still want a holiday, and my beloved tuning fork is probably forever gone. Yet, I can stop and simply breathe. The rain shall wash away my troubles and remind me of the blessings I have. I will survive and let God guide my heart. :)


Adding to this gratitude, my voice lesson yesterday was more like a therapy session for myself, Lynn, and I guess Chad, too. It's been rough for us all lately, especially the past week or so. We shared some gripes, counted the blessings (because it could ALWAYS be worse), sang a little, goofed off, played around with some new music possibilities, shared opera anecdotes, and for a few moments of the day, distracted our minds from the troubles awaiting outside the studio door. Chad just sat on the sofa the whole time. haha! I think we all needed that lesson. Thank you, Lynn!

Also, I got caught up in writing my concert review for music history last night, and as odd as it sounds, those hours were rejuvenating to me. I don't know how writing a paper can be "relaxing" but perhaps writing about music was just as therapeutic as listening to it in those moments. Yesterday, I was ready to just hop on the next plane to anywhere for a few days. I need a holiday and was thinking the only way to do it was to not think and just pick up and leave for two or three days. I wanted to be anywhere but here...somewhere where no one knows me, and I know no one, sitting at a cafe sipping wine and/or tea and eating bagels for a couple of days. However, my pocketbook does not exactly agree with that. I seriously contemplated it, though. Wouldn't that be nice?

La sonnambula

Ah! Need I say more?! haha! I am totally in love with this opera...and Bellini, in general! He was brilliant!

Gratitude 83
Saturday, I saw the Met HD broadcast of La sonnambula with my friend Katie. (We decided that from now on we are opera buddies! haha!) It was PHENOMENAL!! I had never seen this opera before, but it has captured my heart. Ah! I love it! Perhaps even more than La Traviata...and I love that one a lot. ;) I don't even know what to say; I am just speechless. It was that good. Natalie Dessay is not my favorite, but she did a really great job, too. I am probably biased, but I would have loved to hear Anna singing Amina...esp. opposite Flórez! Eek! And the modern staging of it...at first, I was not sure I would like it, but it was so well done. And Juan Diego Flórez waltzing in wearing jeans and a letter jacket...that's okay with me! haha! First, he and his voice are both gorgeous. Second, his passion for the music is so sincere, and that is the most beautiful thing to see and hear. :) Katie had never heard of him before Saturday...now she is obsessed! haha! Yup. Google him if you don't know him. He is easily probably the best Bel canto tenor of today. :)


The rest of life on super-speed (because I seriously need to be studying for my music history exam on Friday! Yikes!): Ugh! Drama! I hate it! And it is consuming my life right now. It sucks. I hate to say it, but I am ready for this semester to just be over. Five more weeks. And everything is hitting me all at once, and I am stupidly slacking. I need to get with it and start moving. I think I just need a break but can't get one for awhile. Oh, well. I will get through it. Oh, people! Oh, drama! Blech! Also, you might want to note...just because you finish your recital does not mean your work for the semester is over! ha! Oh, quite the contrary...God, I am sure, got a nice chuckle out of my thoughts that the rest of the semester would be a breeze! Boy, was that a naive idea! Semmi baj. Nothing troubled. I can do this...or, at least, I am trying...

(P.S. I apologize for my irritated tone in that latter part...life's been frustrating and a little upsetting lately...and to top it off, I can't find my tuning fork! This is a terrible tragedy! AH!)

An Operatic Tragedy!

Today, is a tragic day...I just realized that my Hungarian residency permit and visa expires today, making me an offical U.S. resident again... How sad! :( haha! Oh, well. Life goes on...and I shall return there someday. It was quite dramatic when I discovered this a couple of hours ago, though! Oh, the Ides of March!


On a bright note, (Gratitude 82) I don't think I have laughed as hysterically and as much for as long a period of time as I did last night in years. haha! I mean, I laugh A LOT, but this was crazy. It's been an interesting weekend...not exactly what I had planned, but it was fun. Tracy, you are freaking amazing! hahahaha!

Köszönöm szépen, Isten!

Thank you heartfully, God, as the above saying literally translates. I have a heart full of smiles and sincere gratitude right now. :) It has been crazy but magnificently beautiful week.

I called Chadwick Thursday night after my family left to leave him a message on how it went as I promised I would. He called me back yesterday evening to chat for a bit while he was waiting for Dr. Mathias in their hotel lobby. It was so sweet of him. Sounds like things are going alright for him. He seemed really upset he wasn't here that evening, but that is why we have recordings! haha! Gram left cookies for him, too, so he's excited.

Speaking of the recording...I have been trying for an über long time to figure out how to post some of my tracks. I think I have FINALLY figured it out! Yay! ;) I just may be a genius. haha! That's definitely not true...just got lucky and had lots of determination to spend all the time. I am crossing my fingers this works...because right now as I write, my computer is freaking out or something because I hear myself in canon on "Chanson Triste"...funny but doesn't work so well! haha!

Chanson Triste



O lieb'



La Promessa



L' Invito



A csitári hëgyëk alatt




There are couple more tracks, but I haven't decided if I want to post them or not. I already was only going to post one or two and got a little carried away. Oh, well. haha! Hope you enjoy! Also, I want to give extra thanks to my family and friends. I loved having them there. Sometimes, I forget to tell them I appreciate it. (Gratitude 81)

Lastly, Lynn is the sweetest person I know! I am so thankful that she is my teacher and mentor. She just makes me smile. :)

Yes, the dress! ;)

I know you are dying to see the dress, the London dress, so here are a few pictures. Better ones are to come, but they will have to wait because they are not on my camera.

Gratitude 80

The recital went beautifully. :) I still cannot believe that I actually did this after being home barely 3 months. That's crazy talk! I don't think I will ever know how...especially after rubbing elbows with what could have been terrible illness on Sunday..., but I did it! Yay! Jól volt! :) The Rossini set...muah! Fabulous! ;)

Lynn was such a dear, checking in on us numerous times and giving us sweet cards. I love that woman! I could not have done ANY of this without her. She was so proud of us. She has been there through so much...kind of like Chad.

I thought of János tonight, too, before I stepped onstage. :) I would be wrong if I didn't say that he contributed to this accomplishment, too. One full set, my Hungarian set, I feel was his. But I know Lynn respects that. I am so blessed to have had such incredible teachers in my life.

Barb played beautifully. I do wish Chad had at least been there, but I am so glad I got the chance to work with her. She is great fun and has so many wonderful ideas, too. And the Rossini...I must admit, would not have had the spark that it did if it had been done any other way. ;) I still love you, though, Chad!

My family was here, and it was wonderful to share this experience with them. I am thankful they could come, however brief they were able to stay, as they had to leave nearly directly following.

I was surrounding by loving friends as well. :) The SAI circle was the largest I have ever seen it. How beautiful!

Pretty dresses, beautiful music (I really get to sing this stuff?!), sparkly jewelry, diva bows (that was totally one of my favorite parts! I won't lie! haha!), family, friends...I am so blessed. Now back to real life I suppose... But is it really that different? They are ever-present in my life. :) However, I do feel...well, I really don't know what I feel, oddly. I guess I thought I'd feel a bigger sense of accomplishment, but I don't know. It's like that was that and now it's done, so what next? I am glad I did this, pleased with the results, but yet, I feel something is missing... I don't know what I should be thinking right now... Life happens so fast...

Eeek!

My recital is tomorrow evening! Yay! :) Super excited. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, though. Nerves are good. You need them to a certain extent.

Dress rehearsal went great on Tuesday. We wore our dresses, so that we were accustomed to singing in them. Lynn loved it! Yay London! Yay pretty dresses! Yay Sophie for finding it! ;) I love it! Nagyon szeretem! I think my favorite part, though, is that I get to do the "diva" bow! hehe! (Elise is right...definitely a diva!) Sweet! Because it would not be so graceful for me to do an actual bow in that dress... Not that kind of show! haha!

Today, I had a lesson to touch up some places that were a little shaky at the rehearsal. Semmi baj. Nothing troubled. It's going to be great. I think I am still amazed that I am actually doing this tomorrow. Not even three months back in the States and giving a recital. I honestly think that is one of the firsts for the conservatory. Most students push it off a semester. Not me! I'm not chickening out! Watch out! Soprano coming through! Full speed ahead! haha! (I am so ridiculous!) I am thankful for having a teacher that encourages me, pushes me, and won't let me step away from a challenge but rather take it on wholeheartedly and reminds me of my "mantra" of courage.

Tomorrow, is a day of total relaxation and preparing for the evening. I have nothing, yes nothing, on my schedule for the day. I have no obligation to be in my science class in the morning because I turned my paper in early, and Chad is in D.C., so no piano lesson. I have to meet with my advisor in the early afternoon, but that won't take long, and I planned on taking a walk to the library anyway around then, so all is good. :) Keep an eye out for pretty pictures to come! OH! Speaking of picture...the photos I ordered from my travels came in the mail today! Yay! ;)

Gratitude 79
I am thankful for handwritten letters...receiving and writing them. :)

I Say a Little Prayer for You :)

Gratitude 78
This morning in stúdió óra (studio class), Lynn let her little diva out and demonstrated in the most captivatingly beautiful way a portion of Schumann's "Widmung." I can only imagine what she was like in her prime...


Well, yesterday, I awoke to the wonderful world of head congestion. ha! Of course I would! Germs have left me alone since the plague the day care kids gave me in May, and now they decide to come throw a party. Umm...not okay with me. Friday, I can be practically dying, and I wouldn't particularly care. Now, however, I care a great deal. Elise said that Giorgio Tozzi (Brian studied with him at Indiana...and Elise and Lynn with Virginia Zeani!) used to say that you were only sick because you had to sing. Go figure. Murphy's Law, I suppose. Then, Elise called me a diva with my pashmina around my neck and eating ginger and being overly melodramatic. (Me? Overly melodramatic? No!) haha! Probably true. Takes one to know one... ;)

I also sang this morning in studio class. One of my Rossini pieces. I might not feel the grandest, but I'm sounding pretty good, if I do say so myself! Lynn hadn't seen the email I had sent her last night yet, and she didn't even know I was suffering, I guess. Yay! Let's keep that up! Please say a little extra prayer for me tonight! I have worked so much for this recital and am super excited about it...now I just need to be able to do it! Dress rehearsal tomorrow afternoon. :) Off to rest some more... I am a terrible rester! I just can't sit still or fall asleep in the middle of the day anymore!

Note:

Just thought I'd forewarn not to try eating ginger root raw...my curiosity led me astray! That is some strong stuff! I think it could make you keel over. Making tea out of ginger root, though, is quite tasty.

Gratitude 77

I am thankful for the beauty of springtime. :)

Gratitude 76

I am thankful for my growth as a musician and continuously raising level of musicianship skills. I know the top is so far away, but I am beginning to realize how far I truly have come. (I also need to get my butt in gear in practicing solfege if there is even the slightest chance of continuing studies with the Hungarians.) It is the true foundation of the music; it is far more than simply singing a pretty tune. Without this, the music would be incomplete. I am noticing the professional-soprano-in-training within me.

Today, I had my rehearsal time for the Singer's Showcase (an annual concert of select junior and senior vocalists where they sing an opera or concert aria with a small/chamber orchestra). It went very well. I am singing Les Filles de Cadix by Leo Delibes. I love it! Nagyon szeretem! :) It suits me well. I am really excited to finally be singing with an orchestra. (However...interesting...that orchestra will be...)

I have been trying to take it easy the past couple of days. My throat is not feeling very happy. It could be a combination of contributing factors, but whatever the cause, it is making the singing part more complicated. (Also, I seriously need to work on my support. It just sucks.) So, this weekend, I am resting and doing everything I can to keep myself well. I want to be in tip top shape for this brilliant recital coming up! ;)

Bouncy

That's how I felt all day. :) Spring was in the air, and my chats with Lynn yesterday brought my spirits up. I am pretty psyched about this recital now. (I am praying I remain healthy for another week at the very least! My throat feels like it's closing up! NOOOO! Stupid suddent weather changes!) Also, I am still in a good mood from that silly "Laughing Baby" video. hehe!

I rehearsed a little bit with Barb today. Okay, for more than a little bit...we spent a little over an hour on my Liszt piece...and completely skipping over my piano lesson I was supposed to have with Chad. Oops! We lost track of time. I think he kind of expected that'd happen, and it's Chad...how could he possibly get upset with me? haha! Just kidding! That time was much needed, though. It's rather complicated, esp. ensemble-wise. Then, again, it is Liszt, so what else would you expect?

It's been a rather productive day and yoga in the late afternoon to top that off! ;) Gail Spirit Sky, my yoga instructor, is such a sweetie. And yay for relaxation! ...something I think I accomplished for the first time in quite awhile. I'm doing pretty good right now. :)

Gratitude 75
I am thankful for all of the truly caring and amazing people I have in my life. They are such an incredible blessing to me! :)

This is HYSTERICAL!!!! hahaha!

Gratitude 74

One of my friends showed this to me this morning for a little dose of laughter medicine. However, I was practically rolling in the floor in hysterics. This is absolutely hilarious. I don't even know why. Laughter, I suppose, is just contagious.




From that point on, my day went better. It brought some lively giggling sparks to my life for a bit. I talked with Lynn in the morning about some stuff. I am no longer going to attend NATS this weekend. We both decided that mentally, physically, and in the sense of time, it was not a wise idea. I need to be concentrating whole-heartedly on the recital (8 days and counting...). Then, I had my lesson today, and Lynn helped me even more to feel better about it and relax a bit. We did some great work. However, I am vocally kind of tired right now. Partly to do with not sleeping well and a lot to do with the fact that I am pushing way too much. No worries. A little rest, lots of tea and honey and water, and I'll be fine. And, of course, work on not pushing. Other than that, today has been a bunch of ridiculousness, laughter, concentration, and a touch of sarcasm when needed to keep the mood light. Now, for a little motivation to get some work done this evening...

Yes, it really went like that.

Recital hearing: ugh! That was not a particularly pleasant experience. Perhaps I was just particularly filled with extra tension and anxiety on top of everything else right now. I had to restart my aria three times. Yes, three. They were quite patient with me...far more than I was with myself. However, I passed, and the recital is a-go for next Thursday. Oh so much to fix before then! Lynn kept reassuring me it is going to be fine, and that I was okay, so not to worry. Well, it's just what I do sometimes. She threw my own words back at me this evening: "Precision, not perfection, Samantha!" She said she was going to quote me...she didn't say it'd be to me! haha! She's right, though. I have not been listening to my own words. But I certainly felt nowhere near precision this afternoon. Lesson tomorrow...just breathe...belélegzom...kilélegzom...

Gratitude 73
I am thankful for the weird, twisted relationship I have with Chad. He has been a saving grace in my life. Our little chats have kept me balanced and in-check. Rants, venting, silliness, jubilation, encouragement, and the occasional metaphorical slap in the face when I needed it. He deserves a gold star smiley face sticker! hehe! :)

Mr. Sandman, where are you?

Can't sleep...yet again, so I thought I'd write a little blurb. Nem csinalok aludni nem jó tegnap este. Did not sleep very well last night, either, so I felt like I was in a fog all day. (And I probably just made up all that Hungarian...they are real words...probably wrong structure, though. Nem baj.

In music history today, we discussed Béla Bartók. Rather, Dina did. I was a little frustrated because I felt there was a lot of pieces missing from that puzzle. Perhaps, I am a little biased, having spent a semester studying in Central Europe and learning more about Hungarian history, culture, and musical roots. I will admit I did not study much of Bartók besides his Mikrokozmosz and folk research, but to study Kodály to study Bartók is and vice versa. They did so much of their work collaboratively, esp. in their folk music collecting. Of course, I was very much instructed in the "Kodályian" way. Also, I feel that to understand all of our musical roots, we ought to know exactly where it comes from. Not only should we study the music and the composers, but we should also study the political state/division of these countries through the ages. I mean, Hungary used to be HUGE, encompassing present day Hungary, Austria, Poland, Romania, Croatia, Slovenia, Czechoslovakia, Serbia, Ukraine, Bosnia and Herzegovina, and Serbia, if I am not mistaken. It was, after all, the Austro-Hungarian Empire. With that in mind, Hungarian, or for that matter, Central and Eastern European musical roots go much deeper into the culture than seen at surface value. I guess I prefer a more thorough approach to learning. However, I could not very well challenge or question my professor's authority. That would have been crossing the wrong lines. And I know it is difficult to shove centuries of musical development into only a few months' curriculum, so somewhere shortcuts are going to be taken.

I also worked with my recital accompanist Barb today. Volt jól. It went well. She is great fun and very helpful. Recital hearing tomorrow at 1pm. (And I'm not sleeping and have to be up for class in the morning? ha! This ought to be interesting!) Thankfully, I'll have yoga right before then. Maybe calm the nerves a little. I am unusually feeling more anxiety than I ever expected about this. I love performing, but I suppose I still feel like everything is happening so suddenly. Sometimes, life just hits you fast. I think I am mostly nervous that my memory is going to fail me...it hasn't been so keen lately. We shall see...

Gratitude 72
I am thankful for my personal journal filled with randomness of my life. :)

Turn that frown upside down...

Little things that are helping me to keep my spirits higher...

Gratitude 71

Today, I watched An American Rhapsody. Nagyon jó volt! It was very good. It is a movie from 2001 (Scarlett Johansson plays the main girl) about the Iron Curtain falling over Hungary and the subsequent revolution (all that "1956" stuff). I now understand a little more about 1956. October 23rd is a national holiday in Hungary, and I remember that they really wouldn't tell us much about it. It's complicated and was suppressed in the education of the Hungarian people for decades. I asked some people, but they said they did not know how to explain it in English. Also, I had to be careful of the cultural lines...not to step too far into the personal or say the "wrong" thing.

I owe thanks to an old man I met on my long journey home after my stay in Hungary for telling me of this movie. At the airport in Budapest on my way back to the States, I met an American couple while standing in the seemingly endless security line (recall the lovely Ferihegy strike!). They were school teachers who have been living and teaching in Budapest for the past eight years and were going to visit their son in Philly for the holidays. They were really nice, and we had a lovely conversation.

At random moments in silly little things like this, I find myself in the midst of a sweet memory of a place I was, someone I met, a conversation that was had, etc. I am so blessed! :)