Return to another world...

Gratitude 52

I love walking through the falling snow and watching each beautiful, perfect snowflake swirling in the air and landing on my coat, in my hair, on my mittens, etc. I just find snowflakes such a miraculous thing. Each one so intricate yet so simple. It's remarkable. Nagyon szép! :)

This week was my first week back in grand ol' Columbus. Oh, joy! I moved back into my apartment last Saturday. It's very different being back. I have returned to another world. One I knew once, yet it seems slightly unfamiliar now. In some aspects, it feels as if I never left, that life seems to have been "stagnant" while I was away. In others, though, I feel almost as if I no longer know. It seems somewhat distant. To be honest, I am not overly fond of being here right now. It is to be expected that I would feel this way, I suppose, after living in another, very different culture and having had all the adventures and incredible musical experiences over there, things that are not always present in everyday life here. I miss it. (Yes, I know I have only been back three weeks, but I grew quite attached to that place, that life, that music.)

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the catching up I've gotten to do with people I haven't seen in so long that I really missed. It was so great to see Lynn again. It was really strange at first, though. And I had my first lesson again with her on Thursday. I was really worried. We have an adjustment phase to go through. And I really felt she did not like the changes in my voice that János and I had worked on. She kept assuring me that she thought it was wonderful, but I still felt a little uneasy. I had kind of expected this. Semmi baj. All will be fine. We just need to remember how each other works again. Chadwick is amazing! I missed that man so much! haha! He is so ridiculous, but you gotta love him! We've been chatting away like little school girls this past week...have to make up for lost time! haha! He's helped me a lot through this first week, too. (It's been a little rough. I did not think that I would have such a difficult time adjusting, but like that man on the plane said, you can never predict how much you will have grown. I think it is that much more difficult when the people now all around you haven't. That can be nagyon frustrating!) He was great with the Hungarian pieces I was singing for my presentation, too. I gave him a huge spiel on each one and was very specific about things, but he did it all great. Yay, Chad! It was wonderful to see Élise, too! She is so cute!

It seemed everywhere I went this week, there was someone that wanted to chat. It was great, but I, unfortunately, feel I did not accomplish much this week. Oh, well. I have more time in my schedule this semester. My course load seems quite light, but I know that when I add in all of my lessons and practice, I will have tons to do. The first week is always askew. I decided to take a semester away from choir. My teacher supports me fully. However, I got the wonderful job of confronting the director. I think it is good for me, though. I feel so much less stressed. They are going on a full tour in six weeks, and I would have to learn ALL the repertoire in that time. On top of preparing a recital. That's a lot to take on. My philosophy is that I would rather do less and do it very well than spread myself too thin and do it all mediocrely.

Yesterday morning during recital hour, I had my performance and presentation on my time in Hungary. It went quite well. I was pleased. Granted, my singing could have been a little more "precise," but it was fine. As János says, the goal is to sing above your lowest level always, for the highest rarely happens. That's life. Survive it, enjoy the achievement, and know that you did well, even it wasn't "perfect" (because "perfect," Samantha, does not exist! haha!) I thought I was perhaps coming down with a little bug since I got here, but I think my allergies are just all out of whack right now. Nem baj.

My presentation portion went well, too. I was glad of that because I do not particularly enjoy public speaking. Not my idea of fun. And since I was the only student who had gone this past semester, it was ALL me! Piece of cake, right? (Actually, it kind of was.) I was a little nervous before I went out, but then I was so calm during the entire thing, singing and speaking. Crazy! It was fun to share some of my pictures and stories, though. I kind of felt a little boastful, but it was what they had asked me to do. I got some lovely comments afterwards. Everyone seemed to enjoy it and loved my photography. :) Yay! Dr. Mathias came, too! She gave a little introduction before I went out. It was soooo wonderful to see her! I gave her a special thanks in my presentation. She is such a sweetheart! And has truly been a saving grace. Her support and encouragement through everything has been a gracious blessing. :)

Preparing my presentation brought a flood of memories to me. Those four months were just unbelievable amazing and so worth every moment...even the tear-filled ones!

Overall, though, this week has been really very frustrating (and irritating at times) for me. Life is very different here. Sense of time, food...you can't just go to the bakery and get a loaf of fresh bread...nope...it's all squishy bread! blech!...and no open market to get fresh fruits and veggies all the time..., language of course (I miss trying to speak Hungarian! People here just get annoyed with me I think whenever I say something in Hungarian.), and in terms of music, musicianship among my colleagues. And there is a lot of crap the just keeps coming up...mostly administrationally. Ugh! As I must be respectful in what I say/do/write, let's just say I found out a lot of things that happened while I was gone that nearly pushed me over the edge. If I wasn't already irritated enough with the university for making me feel invisible to them while I was away, I am getting much closer to my wits end with them now.

*****

Blasting back a bit...it was wonderful to be home for Christmas and New Year's. It was good to be home for the holidays. I think that is very important. My nephew is just absolutely adorable, too! They spent a lot of time over at my house during my two weeks at home. Xander was very into the present thing already. He's only four months now, and was tearing away at the paper. haha!

Again, I sang for Christmas Eve mass, something I have done for the past like five or so years. And I convinced them to let me sing a Hungarian Christmas carol. Yay! I love singing in Hungarian! Such fun!

It was fun giving everyone their gifts from Hungary and telling about each one. The pashminas were a big hit. I love pashminas! So pretty! I have gotten so many comments on mine. I almost didn't want to part with the ones I bought for my mom and aunts, but I did. And everyone loved the Milka chocolate. Finom! :d

I brought home some pálinka and a bottle of Hungarian wine to share with my family. It was hilarious to watch them try the pálinka! haha! It's quite strong stuff...the ones I had were 41% and 51% alcohol (homemade stuff can be even stronger, though)..., but it's initiation into the Hungarian culture, so I made them at least taste it. Their faces were priceless! haha! I also made them try red wine and coke, a very Hungarian thing. Yes, I know what you are thinking, "Samantha, that sounds absolutely disgusting." It does sound disgusting, but you just have to try it. It really is good.

Well, I ought to get some studying done, but I wanted to do a little catch up. Viszlát!