This afternoon, I came across my book of notes from voice lessons with Janos. I am so thankful I've taken notes on my lessons all these years and especially that particular semester. So much wisdom and truth...and so much that makes total sense...now! Isn't it incredible how hindsight seems to always be 20/20? I'm not at all disappointed about that semester. Rather, I think I soaked in as much as I could at that point in my musical studies. (But I would be lying if I didn't admit to at least part of me wishing I sang then like I can now. I can only imagine the breakthroughs in my musicality that would have happened that autumn.) It's funny how fickle the voice and mind can be in the throws of trying to figure how to "support" (or even what that means!), to sing "into the mask" or resonance, to determine the sound before the voice even sounds.

Reading through these notes, I see now just how much he was pushing me. He had only 16 weeks with me. Twice a week. And he threw as much at me as he possibly could in our meetings for me to take with me. Years worth of information and ideas, really. I think he knew there was no possible way for me to understand it all and "make it happen" in those short weeks, but that by passing the tools to me, I'd be able to carry them with me through the years and gradually, they would reveal themselves to me when each was ready.

And for me, these notebooks are now priceless, chronicling a semester of greater musical growth than I ever thought or was able to realize it was. Each portion I read, it is as if I am back in the classroom where my lessons were held; I can recall in my memory every moment and his voice as he said everything. Keys and phrases that form a large portion of my own unique technique that works for me. 

(Also, reading these notes, I am in awe of how perfectly complimentary my lessons with each of my teachers...Lynn, Janos, Jayne...have been and are. They each fit together perfectly in the puzzle that makes up my voice. I know that's a rarity for someone to find, and I'll count that among my blessings! And a wonderful reassurance that I have been/am where I'm meant to be through each step thus far.)


I definitely left a part of my heart in Hungary. Some days, I do wonder what it would've been like if I'd returned -- or simply stayed. Alas, everything happens for a reason, season, and/or lifetime. And somehow, I think that semester, those lessons, teachers, and experiences...were all three. :)

One day, though, I do want to return to sing for Janos and the gang, again. Perhaps, a recital at the Institute may be in order...?? And now, the soprano plots... Muahaha! ;) 
(If anyone feels so inclined to fund this little adventure, I wouldn't be opposed... hehe!)

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

"More and more, my role is becoming to help you discover your own unique key to unlock your own unique, special talents. And it is in my hope that I help you find it, and when you return home, you can hold onto it and keep it with you and build upon it." ~Orsolya (my Hungarian piano teacher)

And something I'd heard many times before and a million times since, 

Janos pinpointed me the minute we met:
"I know you don't particularly like coloratura, Samantha, but I know your voice...it has to move, whether you fight it or not. I will push you to do the coloratura. You must do it. Your voice needs to do it." 

We must practice what you don't know. Practicing what we know, although very nice feeling, is not helpful. And practicing what we do not know can be very frustrating and disheartening and difficult, but it is very necessary, very important... First, we need to concentrate on your weaknesses. This I know." ~Janos

"It is said that a person sings 'well' three times a year...two of which are in the bathroom. It rarely happens that it is in the performance. But that does not matter. What matters is that every time you sing you try to do better than your lowest level. The goal is not to sing better than you have in your entire life but to sing above your lowest level. In that, you raise your lowest level which also raises your highest. You never want to sing below your lowest level. That is the goal. It is very important to know. You cannot expect perfection...you won't find it because it cannot happen." ~Janos

"Samantha, you cannot worry about the mistake. If you measure by them, all you will have is a very long list of mistakes. Embrace it. Survive it. And concentrate your thought on what to do, how to do. That is how we must focus our thoughts. Concentrate on 2, 3, 4 things at a time to pay attention to, not all the wrongs to 'fix' because then they will never be fixed." ~Janos

And a quintessential Janos-ism:
"I have bad news...it was quite good!" ;)