Today, I went to put on my watch, only to find that it had stopped a few minutes short of some 7 o'clock hour. I thought, "Hmm. How fascinating. Oh, well," and set it aside. Yet, I couldn't help picking it up, again, trying to reset it...and then wondering if it was a "sign." No, I wouldn't say I am particularly superstitious, but I'll admit I do believe in signs...fate. The 30 seconds that followed found me staring at the watch and thinking of one of my favorite Billy Joel tunes, "Vienna."
And all this just a day or so after I was on the brink of booking a plane ticket to Europe without any pre-thought. The only thing that inevitably stopped me was the realization of, "And with WHAT imaginary money am I going to pay for this?!" Damn you, money!
For some, it's the winter blues. For me, it happens in the summertime. Social life is slow, jealousy is abound for those that get to travel and explore, inspiration is slightly short-circuited, funds are low, patience are thin, grouchiness from the heat sets it, eyes are heavy with fatigue (although, that is really nothing new! ha!), mind is fogged with worry. But for what? I have what I need. Maybe not everything that I want, but what I need is the important part. Or is it? I saw a quote yesterday that money can buy happiness...not in material things, but in experiences. The disappointing reality of that is you actually have to have the expense account to pay for those experiences.
I also read in Metro News the same day that there is no more "9 to 5 workday." Instead, people are constantly working, thanks to technology. Most people will have checked/responded to work email by 7am, be in the office earlier than the required 9am, stay later than 5 pm, then take work home and can receive work-related calls up till 9pm (and judging by the number of class emails sent out by my professors after midnight, it can extend even later). So we are workaholics. Is money really worth that much? I understand survival (believe me..."starving artist" here! haha!), but our society is obsessed with making money. And when that money is made, it's never enough. So then we become selfish and greedy.
Life is short. If next week were it, would it have been worth it to have spent our time trying to save a penny...or livin' it up? I'm sure all this is just coming from someone who hasn't had an actual vacation in a long time...and the rest, from a girl who is afraid of letting life pass her by just because she doesn't have a glorious trust fund to finance her adventures. An unattached dreamer that can do anything she wants...with only one thing stopping her.
Yes, there is something to be said about being content where you are, and I am...but it isn't always roses and gumdrops. Those roses still have thorns for pricking, and gumdrops still get stuck in your teeth. We all need a break now and again, too.
The funny thing about this whole spiel is that I just finished re-reading conductor Ben Zander's' book The Art of Possibility. It is one of my favorites. Beautifully-written and very truthful. He and his wife wrote it together. I read it around sophomore year of college and recently decided to pull it out, again. The whole book, they discuss creating possibility instead of a downward spiral of defeat and discouragement, the danger of taking oneself too seriously, etc., etc., etc. I could spend the rest of the day quoting the book on here. I mean, there is a whole giant chapter on "being with the way things are." Nonetheless, I continually find myself turning a "downward spiral" into a happy tune of possibility. (I know, that sounds totally cheesy, but read the book, and you'll understand what I mean.)
The truth is, I am a very lucky girl. And I have so many wonderful people in my life. There's a lot of crap in my life, but who doesn't have that to deal with, too?! Of course, I would drop everything in an instant to go traveling for a couple of weeks, but until that can happen, I'll walk down the street singing this song. ;)
(And a glass--or two--of wine can never hurt! hehe!)
No comments:
Post a Comment