Some days...

Some days I think I'd rather crawl into a corner and just have a good cry. It's been one of those days. I awoke this morning and arrived at my 8am class to find that all morning classes were cancelled. No emails. No broadcasts on the university website. Nothing. Ridiculous! I'm normally a pretty positive person, but this day just began bad. I went back to bed after that but still had to go to a choir sectional at 10. Lame! My voice, too, was not in great shape today. :( Not much "yellow" happening today. There was good in the day, though. My rehearsal in the hall with the wonderful Chad (my normal accompanist) and my stand-in accompanist for Saturday, Isaac, was fabulous. It was so great, and Lynn came in for a bit as well. We really worked on the piece, pulling it apart and making it musical, technical, and precise. There is still lots of work to be done, but we made huge strides. It was such a wonderful coaching session. Lynn said a lot of things that really helped. And Chad...he's a brilliant accompanist. I'm glad I get to work with the two of them. They always make me smile. Isaac is a beast on the piece I am performing Saturday. He is such a great friend! I am so blessed! Another bright thing today was that I got my package of "grandma cookies" (my grandma sends a different shape sugar cookie for every month...my friends love them!), and in the package were valentines and a Hoops and Yoyo cd from my family! (Hoops and Yoyo are characters by Hallmark...they are hilarious!) The cd is quite ridiculous but also pretty fabulous. It gave me a giggle. I guess I am just stressed out right now, and it's put a little rain cloud above my head. I hate that. I love being happy and bubbly, which I still am...until I start to think about all the stuff I need to do, the things I feel like I've not done enough on, and so forth. (And, of course, I am wasting time on this blog!) Yesterday, I definitely didn't get any work done like I should have, and now that's kicking me in the butt. I have my voice lesson tomorrow, and I just feel so behind. Since I was sick at the beginning of the semester, I feel like I am so behind in learning my new repertoire. I need ten songs, only five are picked so far, and I only know like 2 1/2 or 3. Argh! Piano lesson is Friday morning, and I have barely practiced this week. I pretty much suck. (Chad is also my piano teacher.) Lynn and Chad don't really get mad so much as disappointed, and I hate that feeling. I hate disappointing them. That little nuisance of perfectionism that pesters me probably plays a role in that. I just want to be the best musician I can be. I want to make my dreams come true. Lynn calls me her "Anna" (as in Anna Netrebko). I just want that so much...I want to make that happen. I really am improving and will be just fine. Things really aren't that awful. That one little seed of doubt tends to blossom rather quickly. One poor day that my voice isn't feeling so great, and my overactive imagination and melodramatic tendencies take over. Tomorrow is a new day, and I have a voice lesson (which I love my lessons with Lynn). AND...it's yoga day! A friend and I are taking this yoga class on Thursdays, and it is pretty much going to save my life this semester. It is helping so much. Well, I suppose I should make some progress on the pile of work before heading to bed. I still feel in need of a good cry. Crying is good...cleanses the soul. However, everytime I want to cry, I always find myself laughing for some reason or another. Here's praying for a great day tomorrow and lots of "yellow." hehe! :)